Flirting

Today I'm going to talk a little bit on flirting. Ya know, that simple little, harmless thing, that seems to easy to do when there's a cute boy around? Guess what. It isn't harmless.

 I'm sure just about every girl here has flirted. It can be hard not to... it is in our nature. And a lot of people push flirting off as being just harmless fun. But if you look deeper into it... I looked up flirting through Google definitions, and this is what I came up with.

 1. Behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but without serious intentions: "it amused him to flirt with her".

2. Experiment with or show a superficial interest in (an idea, activity, or movement) without committing oneself to it seriously.

 After reading those definitions, does flirting sound like something we, as daughters of God should involve ourselves in?

 Don't get me wrong. I've probably been guilty of this myself. But I don't want to be someone who plays with a guy's emotions just for fun. I want to be a friend, a sister to guys, until I'm ready to start courting. This also goes back to inner modesty. With inner modesty, the Lord can help us not to do this.

 In my eyes, flirting can be a mean thing. As I said, you are playing with a boy's emotions with the little actions you do. I'm not saying twisting your hair, and giggling is bad. But depending on the attitude behind it, and the batting of the eyes... We do not want to be like the strange woman mentioned in Proverbs.

 ^"For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:

 But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.

 Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell."

Read the entire passage here - Proverbs 5:3-23 

 Guys can be wonderful friends, and great friends in the Lord as well. Let's be an encouragement to them, as well as ourselves.

 I'm not trying to judge anyone. I hope this has been an encouragement to everyone, and that we all will strive to not be stumbling blocks to our brothers in the Lord by flirting, or leading them on. God bless you all. If you have any questions, or I haven't explained anything clearly enough, just ask in the comments. :)

On Courting

 

 Hello all. Today I'm going to talk a little bit on courtship. Not everyone shares the same views as me, and I'm not going to be all judgmental about it if you don't. This is another one of those personal conviction things. But I thought I would share a little bit about this with you guys.

 I'm the girl who gets all the weird looks when this situation happens. People ask me if I have a boyfriend, and I answer with a "No." They ask why not, and I answer that I'm waiting for the guy that God meant for me to come along, and when I do get in a relationship it will be with the intention of marriage. Let the weird looks begin. ;)

There are many different opinions on what courtship is. Some say it's basically dating. But this article is about what I believe courtship is.

 My parents dated each other, kissed, etc. before they got married. Now, almost 25 years later, they wished they hadn't. They realized that if they had waited for some of those things, it would have been much sweeter.

 So, when my sister, Charity was old enough to talk about that sort of thing, my parents sat down with her. They asked her if she'd be willing to wait, and she agreed. My sister's story is really wonderful- hopefully she won't mind me sharing with all of you. ;)

 We're very good friends with another family that also believes in courtship. Charity, and the oldest son in that family were best friends since they were about fourteen going on fifteen, and fifteen going on sixteen. God told both of them at one point or another, that they would marry each other. My sister didn't want to believe it- she thought of him as her younger friend- but he took it a bit more seriously. When he was almost nineteen, his parents finally decided he was ready to ask about courting my sister. By this time, Charity had realized that she really did like him, but she didn't want to let anything get in the way of her relationship with God, and told the Lord she was willing to give up her friendship with him, if that was His will.

 One night, my parents got a telephone call from him. He asked if he could court my sister. My parents talked to Charity, who said yes when she realized it was actually God's will to become even greater friends with Beau. They had a courtship that lasted almost a year. Then he blindfolded her, walked her up a mountain, and showed her a giant glowing cross before kneeling, and asking her to marry him. She said yes. :) They've been married for going on two years this month, have a beautiful little daughter, and a son on the way.

 My parents never really had that talk with me, but I've made the decision based on many things. Their wisdom, my sister's experience, books I've read. (Preparing to be a Helpmeet) The decision isn't being forced on me, but I feel like it's the right thing for me to do.

 Here are some things my family does in courtship.

 Courtship is to get to know someone with the intention of marriage. My sister and bro-in-law talked on the phone a lot, and got to know each other more then they did as just friends.

 My sister and bro-in-law didn't kiss, and neither will I. O.O But how will you know if you have 'sparks?!?!' Don't worry. I plan on praying about it just like my sister did. The Lord will let you know if someone is the right one.

They didn't hold hands either. WHAT???? This isn't a courtship principle that everyone follows, but my sister and bro-in-law wanted to keep their relationship pure in the sight of God. They realized that holding hands, (and kissing for that matter) could lead to things that would not please the Lord. Once they were engaged they did hold hands, though.

 We will have a chaperon. Isn't that a little strict? Not really. Having a chaperon helps the two individuals not get caught up in anything that wouldn't glorify Christ. And it's always fun to be the third wheel who gets to do fun stuff. ;)

 So that's a little bit on courtship. There are other reasons I've decided to court, and if you want to know any more about it, just ask in the comments. Once again, courtship is MY choice. If you don't feel that way, do not feel bad.

 I hope you've enjoyed learning a little about courtship. :)

Genesis 2:24  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

 God bless!

Modesty: Setting Some Guidelines

Hey! I’m so excited to be posting on this blog. This is my first ever post on a blog like this so please be patient with me :P

 

So I want to talk about an easy way to get started with modesty by setting some guidelines. Though some of you may already have some rules as to what you can and can’t wear it doesn’t hurt to get a refresher. Before I get started I just want to quickly say that everyone has different rules or guidelines when it comes to modesty.

 

Maybe you constantly wonder: “I’ve always wanted to dress modestly but how can I dress modestly and still wear what is in style?”

 

Well, sorry to have to tell you this, but sometimes you can’t. Now don’t get me wrong. I for one LOVE the latest and newest trends in fashion but sometimes it just can’t happen. Modesty is really important. Like Bethany said in her post:

 “I've discovered that the reason most people dress without modesty is to draw attention to themselves. This is the opposite of being humble. In modesty, we are not trying to attract attention, because all attention should be given to the One who deserves it: God.”

 

So that really cute shirt you saw in the store yesterday that shows to much cleavage or that really nice skirt that shows off most of your legs is, most likely, not the best choice, but if you take your time and look around the store you can find other cute tops or skirts that are modest and still cute or what you are looking for. If that store carries clothes that aren’t appropriate then don’t go back to that store. I have had to do that before. It’s not fun because the clothes are SO cute but if they aren’t honoring to God then don’t go there anymore. Avoid the temptation altogether by not shopping there anymore as much as you want to.

 

Now I know this is not what you are expecting to hear me say next but… I shop at Value Village. You probably just fainted like most of the people I know but let me tell you Value Village is not an old people store. (Half of my wardrobe is Value Village or Hand me downs). Example. You know those jeans that were $100 dollars at the store yesterday? Yup. I found a $100 pair of jeans at Value Village for $20 (sadly they didn’t fit) so get together some outfit Ideas and make a stop there. But before you go shopping, whether it be Value Village or the Mall, let’s set out some guidelines (now we finally get to them :P ) to take with us when we go shopping for clothes that will make you happy because you got what you wanted and you also got a modest outfit. YAY!

1.       Bring someone shopping with you.

This AMAZING man is my daddy. When I go shopping I will take him with me or if I buy something while he is at work I will wait to take off the tags until he sees it and approves. I would highly suggest taking a family member, whose opinion you trust, shopping with you. Whether it is your mom, dad or grandparents. I take my dad with me or get his consent because he knows what’s appropriate or not and I listen to him. Maybe I really wanted that dress or skirt but I need to honor what my father says. Besides I don’t want to be drawing attention to myself (especially in the wrong ways) Do you?

2.       What is too short or too low?

Here are a few tests I keep in mind when I go shopping.

(These tests I am about to show you are from the book called ‘Secret Keeper Girl’ by Dannah Gresh that I went through years ago with my mom)

Test 1. How short is too short?

Get in front of a full length mirror. If you are in shorts, sit Indian style. If you are in a skirt sit in a chair with your legs crossed. Now, what do you see in the mirror? If you see underwear or lots of thigh your skirt or shorts are too short.

Please keep in mind that you just need to think about this when you go shopping. I am not telling you to go to the store and test this in front of those full length mirrors in the dressing room. I won’t go through ALL the test but I will give you 1 more.

Test 2. Is my shirt too low?

Lean forward a little bit. Can you see too much of your chest or even (with a shirt I had) when you bend over you could see my stomach the shirt was too loose? ( so watch for shirts that are to baggy or loose as well) If any of that happens your shirt is too low. Layering is a good solution just go buy a camisole and layer it up!

So those are a few things I keep in mind when shopping for clothes and only a few of my guidelines. I hope you enjoyed this post and it was helpful.