Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Hello everyone, let me first say how excited I am to be writing for A Pinch of Classy.  I’m Sierra Kay (or just Sierra if you wish) and I am the seventeen-year-old homeschooled daughter of a pastor, eldest of three girls, an avid reader of classics, aspiring author, amateur musician, and an addicted horseback rider. Well, that just about sums me up in one long run on sentence. 

                                           

Since this is my first post I want to go ahead and talk about modesty. I don’t want to talk about what modesty is, but instead why we find modesty to be so important. Just what is this ‘why’ about?  That’s exactly what I’m going to tell you.    

   With each new generation modesty seems to become even more and more rare.  I've even found that the older I get the more people question my choices of dress, friends, and actions. They always seem to be asking me why. 

“Why, do you dress like that?”…”do your parents make you?”…”why don’t you act like other teens?”…”are you some kind of religious nut?”…and on it goes. You’ve all been there right? If not, one day you probably will be.  

See, in our day and age modestly sticks out among the low cut shirts, short dresses, and sagging pants. People seem to take notice of the girls who wear tasteful clothing. Clothing that doesn't seem to show every inch of their body as possible. They take notice of the clean cut boys who understand what a belt was originally designed for. Our actions are often compared to the majority of teens in America who party and spend their time involved in endless high school drama. Now, some of people will look at these young adults who aren't conforming to the world and think ‘these are respectful, conservative, trust worth kids’ whereas others will look and say ‘how old fashioned and backwards!’  

  Now you might be asking where this is all going. What does this have to do with the ‘why’? 

You see, because of the fact that modesty in dress, actions, and words have become so rare in America they’re noticed more than immodesty.  Sad isn't it? However, this can be used as a way to reach people. Others are curious about why we don’t just go with the flow.  This is the reason we should ask ourselves why. Is it only because its what our parents say is right? This isn't a bad thing of course.  I’m thankful every day that my parents have set high standards for me in all aspects of life.  Is modesty only important because your pastor, religion, or Christianity says so? Once again this isn't a bad thing. Christians should challenge others to me modest.  But should either of these be your foundation for modesty?  If you think the answer is no then good thinking!

Your ‘why’ should be that you are a beloved daughter or son of the King of Kings! Jesus Christ died and shed his blood on the cross for our sins.  So shouldn't we strive to honor and glorify Him in everything that we do? 

In John 14:15 it says, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” 

Isn't modesty a commandment? 

“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array” –I Timothy 2:9 

“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.” –I Corinthians 6: 19-20 

“Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;  But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” – I Peter 3: 3-4 

These are all verses which talk about Jesus Christ being your ‘why’.  As daughters of the King we are supposed to be a mirror image.  In Christ Jesus we are made a new man.  So should you only be modest to please others or to praise the God who has fearfully and wonderfully made you? Ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly. That way the next time someone asks you the ‘why’ question you will have an answer that will show them the awesome power of Jesus.
 

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”  - Psalms 139:14

 

What Is "Lady-Like"?

 

 Checking APOC mail in my inbox, I found a note from a young lady requesting help on knowing what "becoming a lady"is.  Here is what she said:

 

 

Dear A Pinch Of Classy,
After about a year of struggling with it and living on the border, I've decided it's time for me to become a lady. What do you suppose that entails? I've worn skirts for a long time, and my casual is the same as my Sunday clothes, so my dress style I don't think needs to change. For me, it has so far meant running up stairs one step at a time as opposed to two, and not wrestling with my brothers (though I still race them). I think I'm missing something, though. If you would please pray about it and post a reply, I'd be most appreciative. I'll pray about it too.
Sincerely, A New-found Lady  

 

 

Well, New-Found Lady, first of all, that is an excellent question!  I am glad to hear you want to become a lady and want to know how to carry yourself like one.

 

For centuries women have strived to be "lady-like".  Only until the last 50 years in particular has this striving deteriorated greatly from society. 

 

Whenever I hear the term lady-like, I tend to automatically associate it with being classy, and possessing a sense of modesty. I think these three go hand in hand with each other perfectly.

 

So what does it mean to be a "lady?" What does it mean to be "lady-like?"

 

The 1828 Webster's dictionary describes the word lady in this manner.

 

LA'DY, n. "A woman of distinction. Originally, the title of lady was given to the daughters of earls and others in higher rank, but by custom, the title belongs to any woman of genteel education."

 

LA'DY-LIKE, a. "Like a lady in manners; genteel; well-bred."

 

What does genteel mean? From the same 1828 Webster's dictionary:

 

GENTEE'L, a. 1. "Polite; well-bred; easy and graceful in manners or behavior..." 2., "Graceful in mein or form; elegant..." 3. "Decorous; refined; free from anything low or vulgar..."

 

I think genteel sums up "lady-like" pretty well.  A true lady is in essence, a true woman. Feminine, graceful, never given to partaking in anything crass, crude or vulgar.  Refined. Thoughtful of others.

 

You asked how one can become a lady, and what this entails.

 

I am speaking from my own personal opinion when I say that being lady-like is far more than just carrying yourself like a queen and never laughing at rude jokes.

 

You said that you have worn skirts for a long time and don't think your outfit choices are what need changing.

Quite honestly, I personally do not believe skirts automatically define you as a lady. I have seen young women who wear long skirts and act like childish little girls instead of true ladies. I have been one of those young women, myself. 

 

 If you would like to become a lady than you need not focus overly on your clothes because that is not the core of what being a lady is. Yes, your choice of apparel has everything to do with the topic, but it is not what is most important.

And for the record, I think pants (as long as they are modest) are totally fine and that you can still be a lady in pants. (Even though I have always felt classier and more lady-like in skirts and dresses, personally.)

 

 You also said that "For me, it has so far meant running up stairs one step at a time as opposed to two, and not wrestling with my brothers (though I still race them)."

 

As a sister to 4 younger brothers, I can completely relate with you here. *smiles* In fact, a couple months ago even I wrestled with the eldest one who is 13. I used to wrestle and fight him pretty frequently, but now I have generally stopped wrestling with Will because, obviously, it isn't very appropriate given the ages we are both at currently, with him going through puberty, especially.
However, we still box sometimes and chase each other around the house doing poke wars.

I don't think that being lady-like means you can't ever do anything physical. Actually I greatly detest that line of thinking because...well, honestly, it's no fun! If you are still in your childhood/teen hood/in a situation where you can still run around with your siblings, than I would highly suggest you take advantage of it while it's still there. It is a gift, and as you grow up, it will eventually be gone.

Now, when I jump on the trampoline with my brothers, I make sure that I wear something adequate. Pants and a shirt which don't fly up revealingly, or a skirt with something underneath it. When I run, I follow the same rule. (You can get other ideas for what to wear while doing these kind of activities here)

So, in conclusion to whether or not you should run two steps at a time down the stairs or wrestle with your brothers, and how this affects your being a lady; I would say that depending on you and your brothers' ages, the wrestling probably isn't very lady-like. If you are in your early teens, or your brothers are much younger than you, than it might be alright. (Depending on what you wear and how rough you get!) But if you are like me, a 17 year old girl, and your brother is like mine, entering puberty, I would advise against it.

The stairs-issue? I'll admit that I still do the double-step thing sometimes. ;) Once again it totally depends on where you are and who you're with, as well as what you're wearing.

Being a lady can range from how you sit on the couch to how you walk, and how you carry a conversation. It really goes hand in hand, as I said earlier, with being modest and classy.

Want to act like a lady? Never do anything you wouldn't think is appropriate or becoming for someone your age and gender. Hold your head highly but don't look down your nose at people.
Stand up straight, and don't slouch. I have been told that I looked regal when I did this. (Even though obviously I don't do things just to be told I looked 'regal'!)

Ladies speak with purpose and clarity.

Ladies think of others before themselves, and strive to be selfless and generous with their time, possessions and abilities.

These are just a few things which I believe come with being a lady. As I said, it is a very subjective matter. While there are certain absolutes, e.g., ladies never flirt or wear clothing which flaunts their bodies, ssometimes, what might be good for one person is totally wrong for another, and vice versa.

My mother is a true lady. I have learned so much from her, and I'm sure you can probably do the same with your own mother or even grandmother. Look around you for examples of being truly-ladylike.


If you have any other questions, don't hesitate to ask! I hope this helped you and was encouraging to you. I would definitely suggest to continue praying about it.

I pray constantly that God would help me to flourish into a Godly, on-fire-for-Him woman. A real woman. I think this is a very important thing to strive for, even far above being "lady-like", because lady-like is more of a surface issue and being a Godly woman is more internal, a matter of the heart.


Hope you're having a blessed day!

Being Different

Picture credit: Pinterest

Hiya! So, in advance, I’d like to warn you that I’m winging it for this blog post. I had no clue what anyone else was going to blog about this week, so I had to come up with this last minute. So forgive me for any randomness. 

Here’s a little story to start off.

The other day, I went to Ross’ clothing store. I love Ross. So many clothes for so cheap. And they’re brand new! What more can a girl with limited money ask for? Anyway, my mom wanted me to go because I hadn’t spent any of the money I had been given about a week ago, and she knew I wouldn’t spend it if I wasn’t dragged store to store, until something caught my writerly eye. 

Well, I can never say no to a trip to Ross, so I went. As soon as I stepped in, I looked around, trying to find anything worth wearing. Here’s one thing I’ve learned: Ross may be cheap, but they don’t have many clothes that I actually wear. 

I walked throughout the Junior’s section, praying there would be something there. Truthfully, the only clothes I can fit are Juniors. But the bad thing about that is there is nothing classy in the least about Juniors. 

I cringed as I held up clothes to examine further. Backless, sleeveless, nearly clothless . . . I learned another thing. 

There are a whole lot of “lesses” in the Junior’s department. 

I was thoroughly frustrated when I came to the end of the department. I was ready to find my mother and tell her there was nothing here for me right now. I’d have to wait until fall to come back, and then at least young girls wanted to cover their arms and stomachs up, lest they freeze to death. 

It wasn’t really the fact that they had nothing for me that upset me, though. It was that young girls didn’t have respect for themselves anymore. They were willing to look trashy and thrown away for . . . for what? A chance at “true love” with a fellow 12-year old that would last a week before being “heartbroken?” Is it just me, or is “true love” being found younger and younger these days?

My point is there is so little respect for a woman’s honor now. And what’s left of it is being torn to pieces by society. Young girls feel the need to dress as if someone stole half of their clothes because women on television do. 

You have to admit, a lot of girls must feel pressured to dress and act like women on television. After all, they see ads about clothing that shows as much skin as you can without being naked. Cheerleaders wear skirts and shorts that should be called “long underwear,” and everyone calls them “beautiful” and “graceful.” Modest clothing is swiftly becoming extinct. Society is banishing it quickly. But, really, who is society to tell me what I need to wear? Who is society to tell me that knees that don’t show off my thighs is “old-fashion?” Do they control me? No.

Here’s what I’m saying. Don’t conform. Don’t let society tell you who you have to be. Be yourself. Step beyond the boundaries that society tries to place around you and say, “I will be different!” God will bless you for it.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, I did buy an adorable skirt and a black undershirt from Ross’.  *grin*

Again, I’m sorry for any rambling I may have done. Have a terrific week, and God bless you!