What Makes You Think You're Modest?

 Hey girls! I've been gone for a really longgg time. I now offer my deepest apologies. :) I have some product reviews to do, but they aren't quite ready yet.

 

 So today I'm going to talk a little bit on What Makes You Think You're Modest? Ooh.

Image credit: rarelythere.blogspot.com

 No matter how you dress, there will always be someone who dresses "more modest" then you do.

You might wear short sleeves and pants, but someone else might only wear long sleeved dresses. So you may often run into the question from people who might be offended by your stand, or just curious.

 I have a pretty fun story. I just got home from my church's camp a few days ago. (I'll be going to another pretty soon.) Anyway, I have a modest swimsuit. It's called a culotte swimmer, and is rather like a wetsuit, with some water safe light fabric over top. It has sleeves, and culotte legs which are like a skirt almost with the space for your legs, but they are closed off. (I'll have to post some pics next week or something. ) Anyway, our camp has the rule that you have to be covered on your way to the pool for girl's swim time. I was working as an assistant cabin leader for the little girls. So they were all pulling on T-shirts, and wrapping towels around their waist, and I was just wearing my swimsuit, casually hanging my towel over my arm. I had made myself expect to receive a few weird stares, and questions. But the little girls were the sweetest. They did ask me about my swimsuit. I explained that I liked to have a more modest bathing suit because, not only did I swim with girls at camp, but sometimes I visit the beach with my brother-in-law's family, which includes several boys. So I didn't see the point in having a bathing suit I could only wear once a year, and have to wear T-shirts and culottes at the beach. To my surprise, the little girls were actually impressed and... jealous! "You're so lucky," one said. "You don't have to wear anything over your bathing suit!" Because of the nature of my bathing suit I didn't cover up like the girls because it wasn't necessary. :)

 But not everyone is like an eight or eleven year old girl. There will be those who might not dress the way you did who feel offended because they think you're saying they aren't modest. This will spark the question, "What makes you think you're modest?"

 I always try to avoid offending anyone. Just because I may dress a certain way, and everything because of a personal decision I've made between God and myself, doesn't mean I'm constantly judging others. Even if I don't approve of what someone is wearing, I'm not going to point it out to them because I know this will only hurt their feelings or offend them, and then I'll never be able to reach them.

 But if you do come into contact with someone who instantly judges you for dressing more "modestly" then them, just explain that you are trying to follow what the Bible says about modesty, and follow God the best you can. Don't say anything that would provide another area of attack for your jilted friend/acquaintance.

 Just pray about it to the Lord, and He will help you when dealing with the "What makes you think you're modest?" people. :)

 God bless, and I hope you have a wonderful day!

 

What IS Beautiful?

Beautiful-what is it exactly? We throw the word around and act as if we know what it is, when in reality, we have no idea. Hollywood, magazines and blogs all try to define it. The honest truth is-everyone of you girls are drop dead gorgeous! No, seriously! God made you so precious! We girls often have a hard time with this, though I can't really tell you the reason for this. We put ourselves down in our thoughts, "I'm not pretty enough." or "I'm not skinny enough." Too tall, too short  too skinny, too fat, where does it end? I honestly believe every person has something about themselves that they don't like. 

A Smile Is Your Best Accessory!

The realization that we're not perfect can be a good thing, in some cases. The Bible mentions many times how much God hates pride- 

• "Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished." Proverbs 16:5
• "One's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor." Proverbs 29:23
• See also: Galatians 6:3, Proverbs 27:2 and James 4:6

So obviously, it's very clear that we shouldn't run around being proud of ourselves and screaming it in the streets to every person we pass! However, I don't believe we should be ashamed of our looks either. The perfect balance comes when we  realize God made us beautiful, we didn't really have anything to do with it! 

Then there's the other side-self hate. Otherwise known as; body bashing, low self esteem, ingratitude and many others. I'm not going to tell you that I'm always happy with my hair, or always happy with my body! But when the negative thoughts start coming, I have a challenge for you. I want you to look yourself straight in the eye (in the mirror of course!) and say "You don't define me, God made me beautiful." And then don't allow yourself to dwell on the negative thoughts, keep repeating it in your head and above all else, pray! Ask God to help you see yourself the way He sees you, stunning and perfect in your own way. 

You should also keep in mind that your outward beauty is only a small part of who you are! I've known people who wouldn't have been considered outwardly beautiful, but as I got to know them, they became beautiful because they had a beautiful personality, a love for Christ. On the other side of things, I've known "beautiful people" that when I got to know them, their true character came through and they became ugly to me. Not because they were, outwardly, but because their heart wasn't beautiful.    

And now I have another hard challenge for you-I want you to comment on this post and list 3 physical qualities, or character qualities that you like about yourself! I know, this can be a hard exercise, don't worry! No one is timing you! 

    

"Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:3-4

What Is "Lady-Like"?

 

 Checking APOC mail in my inbox, I found a note from a young lady requesting help on knowing what "becoming a lady"is.  Here is what she said:

 

 

Dear A Pinch Of Classy,
After about a year of struggling with it and living on the border, I've decided it's time for me to become a lady. What do you suppose that entails? I've worn skirts for a long time, and my casual is the same as my Sunday clothes, so my dress style I don't think needs to change. For me, it has so far meant running up stairs one step at a time as opposed to two, and not wrestling with my brothers (though I still race them). I think I'm missing something, though. If you would please pray about it and post a reply, I'd be most appreciative. I'll pray about it too.
Sincerely, A New-found Lady  

 

 

Well, New-Found Lady, first of all, that is an excellent question!  I am glad to hear you want to become a lady and want to know how to carry yourself like one.

 

For centuries women have strived to be "lady-like".  Only until the last 50 years in particular has this striving deteriorated greatly from society. 

 

Whenever I hear the term lady-like, I tend to automatically associate it with being classy, and possessing a sense of modesty. I think these three go hand in hand with each other perfectly.

 

So what does it mean to be a "lady?" What does it mean to be "lady-like?"

 

The 1828 Webster's dictionary describes the word lady in this manner.

 

LA'DY, n. "A woman of distinction. Originally, the title of lady was given to the daughters of earls and others in higher rank, but by custom, the title belongs to any woman of genteel education."

 

LA'DY-LIKE, a. "Like a lady in manners; genteel; well-bred."

 

What does genteel mean? From the same 1828 Webster's dictionary:

 

GENTEE'L, a. 1. "Polite; well-bred; easy and graceful in manners or behavior..." 2., "Graceful in mein or form; elegant..." 3. "Decorous; refined; free from anything low or vulgar..."

 

I think genteel sums up "lady-like" pretty well.  A true lady is in essence, a true woman. Feminine, graceful, never given to partaking in anything crass, crude or vulgar.  Refined. Thoughtful of others.

 

You asked how one can become a lady, and what this entails.

 

I am speaking from my own personal opinion when I say that being lady-like is far more than just carrying yourself like a queen and never laughing at rude jokes.

 

You said that you have worn skirts for a long time and don't think your outfit choices are what need changing.

Quite honestly, I personally do not believe skirts automatically define you as a lady. I have seen young women who wear long skirts and act like childish little girls instead of true ladies. I have been one of those young women, myself. 

 

 If you would like to become a lady than you need not focus overly on your clothes because that is not the core of what being a lady is. Yes, your choice of apparel has everything to do with the topic, but it is not what is most important.

And for the record, I think pants (as long as they are modest) are totally fine and that you can still be a lady in pants. (Even though I have always felt classier and more lady-like in skirts and dresses, personally.)

 

 You also said that "For me, it has so far meant running up stairs one step at a time as opposed to two, and not wrestling with my brothers (though I still race them)."

 

As a sister to 4 younger brothers, I can completely relate with you here. *smiles* In fact, a couple months ago even I wrestled with the eldest one who is 13. I used to wrestle and fight him pretty frequently, but now I have generally stopped wrestling with Will because, obviously, it isn't very appropriate given the ages we are both at currently, with him going through puberty, especially.
However, we still box sometimes and chase each other around the house doing poke wars.

I don't think that being lady-like means you can't ever do anything physical. Actually I greatly detest that line of thinking because...well, honestly, it's no fun! If you are still in your childhood/teen hood/in a situation where you can still run around with your siblings, than I would highly suggest you take advantage of it while it's still there. It is a gift, and as you grow up, it will eventually be gone.

Now, when I jump on the trampoline with my brothers, I make sure that I wear something adequate. Pants and a shirt which don't fly up revealingly, or a skirt with something underneath it. When I run, I follow the same rule. (You can get other ideas for what to wear while doing these kind of activities here)

So, in conclusion to whether or not you should run two steps at a time down the stairs or wrestle with your brothers, and how this affects your being a lady; I would say that depending on you and your brothers' ages, the wrestling probably isn't very lady-like. If you are in your early teens, or your brothers are much younger than you, than it might be alright. (Depending on what you wear and how rough you get!) But if you are like me, a 17 year old girl, and your brother is like mine, entering puberty, I would advise against it.

The stairs-issue? I'll admit that I still do the double-step thing sometimes. ;) Once again it totally depends on where you are and who you're with, as well as what you're wearing.

Being a lady can range from how you sit on the couch to how you walk, and how you carry a conversation. It really goes hand in hand, as I said earlier, with being modest and classy.

Want to act like a lady? Never do anything you wouldn't think is appropriate or becoming for someone your age and gender. Hold your head highly but don't look down your nose at people.
Stand up straight, and don't slouch. I have been told that I looked regal when I did this. (Even though obviously I don't do things just to be told I looked 'regal'!)

Ladies speak with purpose and clarity.

Ladies think of others before themselves, and strive to be selfless and generous with their time, possessions and abilities.

These are just a few things which I believe come with being a lady. As I said, it is a very subjective matter. While there are certain absolutes, e.g., ladies never flirt or wear clothing which flaunts their bodies, ssometimes, what might be good for one person is totally wrong for another, and vice versa.

My mother is a true lady. I have learned so much from her, and I'm sure you can probably do the same with your own mother or even grandmother. Look around you for examples of being truly-ladylike.


If you have any other questions, don't hesitate to ask! I hope this helped you and was encouraging to you. I would definitely suggest to continue praying about it.

I pray constantly that God would help me to flourish into a Godly, on-fire-for-Him woman. A real woman. I think this is a very important thing to strive for, even far above being "lady-like", because lady-like is more of a surface issue and being a Godly woman is more internal, a matter of the heart.


Hope you're having a blessed day!

Classy, or Not-So-Classy?

 

Few visits to Walmart yield anything less than interesting (if not sad or disturbing) observances. I swear I could fill a library with stuff I've learned and observed while shopping at Walmart.

 

Last Sunday was no exception.

 

We went to church, and had lunch out afterwards. Mom and I had some things we needed to get at a particular clothing store so all seven of us trekked down there and 'quickly' stopped at Walmart(for about 3 hours) afterwards.

 

Few days have I seen such visible comparisons of classy versus non-classy.

 

Now, I know what I'm about to say deals with men, and dressing well on their end; and I don't know if there are any men/boys reading this, but in case there are y'all should know that modesty and class doesn't pertain to us women and girls alone.

Sure, women aren't nearly as visually-oriented as men, but we can still be tempted. But this isn't what I'm going to talk about today. 

Today, we're going to look at some stark visual comparisons of classy...and not-so-classy. (As I already stated above)

So. Where was I? Oh yes. We were just walking into a particular clothing store and we saw a couple exit just as we entered the place. First glance, I thought it was an elderly couple, by how they were dressed. And then I noticed something...the man, wasn't elderly in the least. In the brief seconds I saw him. I summed him up to be around my age. A.k.a., maybe late teens. Mom concurred on this since she also saw him herself.

Okay, I'll be honest with y'all.
Sometimes I forget there are teenage guys out there who actually dress with class and true style. This may sound arrogant or pious and I hope it doesn't come across that way to you. But around my part of the world, I see very few people(both men and women!) who dress with a sense of dignity and self-respect. It's a rarity...and the few I see who do dress with class, I appreciate greatly.

The guy at the clothing store was one of these examples. He didn't have low-rider, overly-baggy pants which he had to hike up every other second., and he wasn't wearing some  skin  tight muscle shirt/tank top, either.
He looked like a gentleman.

Why did I think he looked like an elderly man the first second I noticed him?  For the same reason people usually mistake me for a 20-something mom or college student.

How you dress can say a lot about you. And in today's culture, it can even depict your age. Doesn't that sound pretty ridiculous to you, clothing which gives away your age?

Well, it does to me. Especially considering how, for most of the earth's history, people have done the opposite of this.

In days past, as soon as girls reached a certain age, they dressed like their mothers.
 From people of the middle ages to the early Native Americans. Boys did the same thing. You didn't have all these sub-categories for clothing...kids, juniors, misses, women's, petites. You didn't have "old lady" clothing or "hip" teen garb. (However, there were/are some societies which did (and do) assign certain styles to womens' clothing depending on their age and marital status.)

I'm getting off-topic, aren't I? Sorry. Another topic to be saved for yet another day.

 I know that people can dress with perfect modesty and excellent taste and still have immodest, depraved hearts.
In fact, I've met several people who may have dressed completely fine and met all the modesty standards, but on the inside, they were rebellious and defiant toward their parents(if they were young people/teens/kids). Or, maybe they wanted to break free of the 'bondage' they assumed modesty to be, and go wear all the skimpy outfits their friends got to wear.

Each person's story is different. Sometimes, modesty concerning what you wear can become legalistic and a burden. Sometimes it can become an idol, even. I've seen it happen. Pride can develop in my heart sometimes if I let it. My flesh wants me to think about "how much better" I am than the other girls who show off their bodies and flaunt themselves. (whether intentionally or unintentionally)

But this sin is just as bad (if not worse) as the immodesty itself.  It is important that we always remember who we are. Saved by grace, and children of God. At the same time, we need to remember where we came from and not look down on the others around us. We were all created in the image of God!

Nonetheless, I'll stress again: How you dress shows the world a little piece of who you are.

The same day we saw the classy-dressed dude at the clothing store, we went to Walmart and saw completely the opposite of his example.

A guy wearing camo overalls with no shirt underneath. Practically 98% of all young women wearing tight, revealing shirts and bottoms. Guys with saggy britches falling down to their ankles and shirts 10 sizes too big for them.

Looking at the stuff some of the girls were wearing, I wondered how that kind of style could even be vaguely appealing for a girl to want to wear. Some styles I see people wearing, I like. But more and more these days this isn't the case. Even the color choices of shirts have become more and more just...just plain ol' tacky! Even if the shirt were modest, it was lacking any form of beauty or class. It was ugly.

I know everybody has their own tastes, and I'm totally fine with that. I know the "classy dude" could easily have been an atheist who wanted nothing to do with his Creator. He could've been somebody very flirtatious or immodest in his mannerisms, for all I know.

But, my point is this: In this culture, first impressions are everything. Most people you meet you will probably never see again. You can be seen dressed appropriately and with a sense of class and dignity, which will have a whole lot more impact on people than you may think, because it is becoming so rare among young people. You might be able to encourage a single person just by wearing something flattering and modest.

Class is dying out, yes. But it doesn't have to die out completely.

And most importantly, beyond just being 'classy' or having self-respect, even beyond dressing conscientiously of not being a stumbling block to the opposite gender...is this: We should dress for the glory of our Maker. Don't get caught up in self-righteousness or piety because of what you wear, but consider your appearance to be a testament to who you are and what you live for.

Let your person radiate with the Lord's love and joy, and you will possess true beauty. Learn to embrace self-lessness and cheerfulness and you will discover part of what being a virtuous woman is.

You will be truly classy.

I know this post rambled from topic to topic, but I needed to clarify some things as I went. I hope this post was encouraging to you and that you have a wonderful, blessed week!

 

True Modesty

 Hello everyone! I'm Bethany. You can read a bit more about me on the "About the girls page." I'm so excited about this blog, and having the opportunity to share with you what I've learned from my mother and other strong women of faith around me.

 Today, I'll be blogging a bit about the true meaning of modesty. This is such a wide subject that I could never say everything there is to know about it, and I'm sure some of my fellow bloggers will have their own posts relating to it in the future. But for now, I'm just going to say my little piece.

 In the dictionary, there are several definitions for the word modesty. And they vary in length and meaning.

I like one that says Moderation;decency. 

 Another says Unaffected modesty is the sweetest charm of a female excellence. the richest gem in the diadem of their honor.

 To be modest means, mostly, to be humble. It isn't just about how you dress, but also your attitude. Dress is very important, but your attitude is of far greater importance. If you have the right attitude about modesty, and are humbled to God, then the way you dress will eventually line up to his word.

 True modesty in a girl is a wonderful quality.

 The word humble also has several meanings. And in one of the definitions you can find this little gem: to make meek and submissive to a divine will. This is the true meaning of humbleness. It is when you submit yourself before God to do His will. Sometimes this is a very hard thing to do, but when we submit ourselves to the creator, we'll find it much better then when we were focusing on self.

 I've discovered that the reason most people dress without modesty is to draw attention to themselves. This is the opposite of being humble. In modesty, we are not trying to attract attention, because all attention should be given to the One who deserves it: God.

 As Christians, we need to examine ourselves daily to be certain our attitudes are pleasing unto God, because when our spiritual condition is in the right spot, everything else will fall into place.

 God bless you today. I hope this post has been a blessing and encouragement! Remember to let your light shine daily for Jesus!