Yes, I Actually Love My Body

Think you're fat? Don't like how short you are? Don't like your not-so-chiseled stomach? Think you're too skinny and wish you had more curves? Wish your hair were straight instead of curly, or vice-versa? Unhappy with the fact that you don't have a thigh-gap?

Is it just me, or does it seem like everybody hates something about themselves? Nearly every woman or girl is dissatisfied with her physical appearance in some way or another. Even if it's a little detail that most people wouldn't even notice. WE ourselves notice. Oh, yes we do. And then we obsess over it until self-hatred even occurs.

 

For crying out loud, isn't about time we dumped the whole mess?

 

Self-hatred is so contagious.

 

In the media, we see it non-stop. All these articles on how to supposedly improve our physique, look hotter and get more attention from the dudes. Why? Because apparently we aren't amazing enough already? Apparently so, or articles like that wouldn't exist.

 

Does this bother you at all? It should. It certainly does, with me. There are many reasons why I'm irked by the self-hatred society has encouraged women to have toward their bodies, but I'm only going to give one for now.

 

Psalm 139:14 - "I will praise Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knoweth right well."

 

Did you see that? Fearfully and wonderfully made. Not ugly, worthless, or trash. Not even a fixer-upper, or a 'needs improvement.' Do you see where it says any of these things? Me neither.

 

Bath & Body Works! A favorite!

We are created in God's own Image. How could that make us anything less than beautiful?

 Contrary to a lot of what I hear being said these days, I actually love my body. Yep, that's right. I love every inch of me. Wouldn't trade this skin for any other.

 

*GASP* She actually...is satisfied with her appearance! Is.....is that a crime? A sin? Pride? Self-conceited?

 

No, it's not a crime, and it's certainly not a sin. You can call it pride or self-conceit, but I call it gratitude and contentment.

 

For a while, as an early teen, this was hard for me to grasp. I was pretty dissatisfied with parts of my body, to be honest. When I was 12, I even thought I was fat. (I wasn't.)

I was ungrateful. I was missing the unique beauty that God had given me, and mistaking it for something less than beauty.

 

But that changed as I matured and learned more about God's plan for my life.

 

See, I realize how Christ made me to be the person I am, and not someone else. If I weren't supposed to be Leah Oxendine, I wouldn't be Leah Oxendine. He knew what He was doing when He put me on this planet. I've learned to see myself and all my flaws and appreciate everything because it's what makes me me.

 

My body is His temple. Ultimately it's only a borrowed vessel. Dare I insult my Creator by calling it ugly?

 

I love my long, soft auburn hair.

I love my turquoise-blue eyes. 

I love my long fingers.

I love my hourglass shape. (Yes, it's curvy! And yes, I'm proud of that! Another shocker? I'm getting  sick of 'curvy' being used as a plus-size only term. You don't have to be plus-sized to be naturally curvy. And naturally curvy doesn't equal plus-size.)

I love that I'm fairly muscular.

I love that I'm not skinny.

I love that I'm not fat. 

I love that I'm the weight that's normal for my body type.

 I don't wish I was anything other than what I am.

I don't think I'm fat.

I don't think I've ever been fat.

I love that I'm taller than most.

And I love that I had scoliosis, because that kept me from being too much taller than my boyfriend. (haha!)

 

Newly arranged jewelry/dressing corner.

Kinda mindblown? Not used to seeing something where the girl wasn't complaining about her appearance?

Me either. That's exactly why I decided this post needed to be written. It's about time that positive things were written about one's self-image. It's about time somebody stepped out of the mire of self-hate, and learned to live in gratitude. It's about time a girl looked in the mirror at herself and smiled because she genuinely liked what she saw. It's about time a woman saw herself in a photo and thanked her Maker for crafting her the way He did.

 

Do you have a hard time finding things to love about yourself?

 

It's about time that changed.

 

It's about time we stop hating ourselves and learn to appreciate the bodies we 've been given.

 

One simple way to do this is to stop listening to the propaganda and lies of the modern media and society. Stop caring what the pop culture 'beauty experts' are saying.  Stop looking at billboard models and thinking to yourself how you don't measure up. Stop comparing yourself to friends or celebrities. Stop looking down at the scale and being disgusted with your weight. 

 

What else can you do? Start digging into God's Word about what the definition of beauty truly is.

Start working on keeping your temple strong and healthy by feeding it real food (raw and unprocessed is always best!) and not convenience junk. Exercise at least several times a week to keep your blood circulating and your body functioning at its best. Try toning workouts to get everything firm and solid. Get outside and enjoy the great outdoors - the fresh air will clear your mind! Start surrendering your thoughts to Jesus and go to Him in prayer about your issues and struggles. Start serving others more and engaging in ministry, to get your mind off self-centeredness.

Start looking yourself in the mirror every day and thinking how gorgeous you are. Start finding things to appreciate about your appearance, even if they're small things to start out with.

 

Sparkly heels from Payless which I saw and decided were worth buying!

 Are you willing to join me in this quest to abolish self-hate? Do you have a blog of your own? If so, I invite you to write a post of your own, on what you love about yourself and why. Please comment below with the link when you're done, so I can check it out! APOC may even feature it in the future.

 

Loving your body could be a major paradigm shift, if you've always lived in frustration or dissatisfaction with yourself. It may be very hard in the beginning. You might wonder if it will ever be possible.

But don't give up. With God, all things are possible. And in this case, I know He will bless you for your efforts. Why?

 

 Because He always blesses a grateful heart.

 

Blessings,

Performance Colors + MY Thoughts on Makeup {review}

 

 

 

Hello ladies!

Today I have a makeup review for y'all.

Some time back I was sent some samples from  Performance Colors.

 

I know not all of y'all wear cosmetics, but for those of you who do, you might want to check out this shop.

 

First, I feel a need to clarify a bit on my personal stance concerning makeup, for anyone who is curious. (Please note that I said *personal stance.* I am by no means trying to say that this is what all the other ladies here on APOC believe - I'll let them speak for themselves on the matter if they wish!)

 

I believe that God created us in His image, therefore we are all naturally beautiful and unique.

We don't need cosmetic products to make us gorgeous. With the variety of genetic variance in physical traits of humankind, there's an incredible potential for many different, unique colors and characteristics in our skin, hair, eyes and bodies.

Think about it: we're all made in the image of God, and yet we can look so different! Some of us have bright blue eyes, and some of us deep brown or crisp hazel. Skin pigmentation can vary so incredibly much, as with hair consistency/hue.

 

Each human being is incredibly unique - and yet, we all share one thing. Being handcrafted by the Creator of the Universe!

 

Therefore, we all possess our own form of individualized, intricate beauty.  I never want to encourage girls to be dependent on make-up or other beauty products to make themselves feel lovely. This shouldn't be! Once you get that idea that you NEED makeup to look pretty, it's hard to wash that ideal out of your system and boom - suddenly you're not exercising a spirit of thankfulness but one of discontent. So I'll say it again - make up is nice, but don't ever feel "naked" without it.

 

Only until recently did *I* even start to wear some light makeup. Up until last year, when I was sixteen, I'd never touched anything cosmetic-wise except for a couple tubes of transparent shimmer lip gloss. 

 

I began using makeup for the primary purpose of covering my acne. When it comes to zits, I have no shame dabbing something overtop to hide them! This is quite a different matter than "hiding your natural beauty".

 

 And even then, I only use it when going out - I'll usually throw on some foundation or concealer when going to teach a piano lesson or to the store or something. When I'm around at my house, doing chores and yard work and such, what's the point of putting on extra powders that'll only get wiped off right away?

 

 Sometimes if we're going to a semi-formal event, church or if I'm working at my dad's conferences, I'll wear some eye shadow/mascara and lip color. I was sent some blush and bronzer to review several weeks ago by a different shop and I enjoyed trying those out for a lunch out after church - I thought the blush gave a cool semi-vintage look.

 

So. My personal view on make up is that it's completely fine, as long as you keep your outlook on it right. I use it to enhance my natural looks, not cover them over or drown them out. I also prefer to use natural cosmetics that don't include harmful ingredients.

 

And, let me say it again. I don't ever want to be where I feel that I MUST put on make-up when I go out in public. I want to feel completely comfortable in my own skin, just the way it is. I might put on a little something cosmetic wise just for the fun of it, but I never want to be reliant on beauty products to make me feel beautiful.

 

Oh dear. I guess I rambled for a while there, didn't I?

Whoops. Well, as I said earlier - I felt a need to clarify this, and so now it's done and you won't be left wondering "Wait - I thought Leah didn't approve of make up or did she ...um...but here she is, doing a make up review so..."

 

Er, yeah.

 Let's move on.

 

 

I was sent a number of different samples from Performance Colors, and it was exciting to get to try so many different things from one store.
Having never used eyeliner before, I'll admit I've struggled a bit with the Rococo Eyeliner that was in the package. It's a nice, relatively neutral color for eyeliner, but a bit hard to apply. Or maybe it's just me, being ignorant on how to do it. Either way, it ended up looking like a thin line of eyeshadow when I put it on.
 

 

Lip Repair
This seems most comparable to lip balm. I'm not a huge fan of lip balm so I'll probably give this sample to my mom, who has very dry skin and would likely appreciate it more. I have very oily skin so my lips are in pretty decent shape, I think.

 

In the package was a Cream Eyeshadow in "Champagne". This is a very mild color for eyeshadow. I would probably blend it with something a little darker, creating a ombre/gradual fade look.
Since the eyeshadow is in a cream format, it's super easy to apply and I really like that. All other shadows I've tried have been in powder form which can get kinda messy. So this is a nice factor. I would've probably picked a more dramatic color, say a turquoise or blue/green hue, but hey - the Champagne matches with virtually everything in my wardrobe!

 

 

 

Honestly, I'm still not entirely sure what the point of the Shadow Magnet is. I think it is to help keep your eye shadow on better? I've still yet to try it in depth.
 

 

 
 

"Posh" Matte Cream Lipstick
This is a nice lipstick color and consistency. It's a very muted coral and gives a nice matte look which seems to be relatively popular these days.
 

 

 

"Buff" Semi- Matte Lipcolor
Now, I use this one all the time. It's slightly lighter than "Posh" and is the same general consistency. I love to use it when I get ready to go to church. It doesn't create an overly dramatic look, as darker lipsticks do, and yet it still looks like you're wearing something cosmetic wise. I love the distinct  matte look this one gives.
Definitely recommend this one.

 

I also use the "Pink Choco" Semi-Matte Lipstick frequently. It looks a little more bright pink than in the picture here. (All photos are taken from the Performance Colors Etsy shop.) I like it for it's 'brightness' if that's the right way to put it. It's a very light pink (once again, a bit different than the picture) and very girly and vintage-esque. I recommend.

 

 

"Ginger Heart" Restorative Lipcolor
I'm not sure what makes this (and the other Restoratives)  'restorative' and the semi-matte ones not.
Either way, it's a pretty color.

 

 

"Show Down" Restorative Lipcolor
Another nice, fun shade. It's definitely more pink, and comparable to "Pink Choco."
 

 

 

"Malibu" Restorative Lipcolor

 Slightly comparable to "Posh", but darker.

All the lip products here were very smooth and easy to apply. Also, just from the little sample containers I received, it seems they last a long while. I'm nowhere near being finished with them, and I've already put them to good use!
 

Lastly, I received a Pressed Eyeshadow in "Siren" which apparently there are no pictures to be found of, on the site.
It's a light/medium grey color, and good for layering/blending, or attempting a smoky eye look.

Overall, I like what I'm seeing from Performance Colors. The things they sent I've enjoyed wearing, and, looking at their page again just now, I'm really interested in some of their other products - namely the "Mermaid" cream eyeshadow. *grins*

Well, anyways, y'all make-up wearers should check out the shop.

Note: I was provided these items from Performance Colors in exchange for my honest review. All opinions stated remain mine and mine alone.

Lies We've Been Told

Marriage is not a reward.  It is not something that you can earn or work a certain formula and then just watch it happen.  It's not a guarantee no matter how beautiful and godly and vivacious you are.

I used to think it depended on me.  That if I could lose weight, I would be pretty enough to get married...but then I saw girls larger than my 125lb frame, happily married and living my dream.

I used to think that if I could just get my daily quiet time together and make it a habit that I never skipped, then God would let me get married...and I saw girls that didn't have it together as much as I did planning their weddings.  I thought that if I could just learn to be more outgoing, then I could actually hang out with the type of man I want to marry.  But every time I met him, it fell through.  I wasn't active enough, independent enough, submissive enough....I didn't debate enough to challenge him, I debated too well and he wanted to always be right....I didn't believe the right things, wear the right things, listen to the right music....or maybe, we were just "very different".

I've tried everything and yet, they keep telling me that all I have to do is trust God and He will work it out.  Put Christ first, fall in love with Him....other women have done that and within just a short time God brought along a man and they lived happily ever after.  Don't focus on getting married, go after other goals and then your husband will miraculously appear.

The truth is, there is no formula.  There is no guarantee.  No matter how hard we work at being the perfect woman, it does not depend on us.

My life has not been strewn with roses.  I have visited heartbreak hotel like so many others before me.  I know what it's like to ache inside because no matter what you do, nothing good ever seems to last.  I know how hard it is when you love someone and they leave you.  I've been there, cried out loud from the pain and then got up and gone to work the next day as if life is wonderful.

I don't have all the answers.  In fact, I really have no answers.  There is only one thing that I know will never change, one person who will never leave and one relationship that will always satisfy and you don't have to wait on him to act because He already did.  My Jesus, my Yeshua, the King of kings, Lord of lords...no matter how many times I slip away and try other things to satisfy and fix myself, He is still there through it all.  He's the only one who can heal a broken heart, turn your tears into laughter, your ugliness into beauty, your pain into something He can use to help others and with Him, there will always be a happy ending. 



Just Stop Hating Yourself!

(Image courtesy of Pinterest)

 

Us women have always desired to be beautiful, radiant, pretty, gorgeous. Ever since the beginning of time, humanity in general has loved beauty, whether it be the simple perfection of a rose in full bloom, or the dramatic brilliance of an evening sunset. God created in us the ability to acknowledge and appreciate the beautiful world He fashioned.

 

And a major part of that beautiful world, quite obviously, is us.

 

With the immense desire of women in this country to be beautiful, flawless and perfect according to society's standards, have we lost sight of what true, God-given beauty really is?

 

I believe so.

 

It is a sad reality; but the fact remains - most women in the US alone hate their bodies, or at least a part of their bodies.

 

Young girls and adult women alike are pressured to conform to what the hottest celebs and fashion leaders deem trendy and acceptable, and practically 99% of that time, what's being pushed is something which isn't appropriate or godly, in one way or another.

 

Even if what is being pushed is something that's actually okay/appropriate, it's still such a tragedy that women rely on anonymous corporations and celebrities miles and miles away - people they've never even met - to determine what's beautiful and what's not. Going even further, you know what? When it comes down to the bottom line, it's a tragedy when we rely on any person's opinion more than our Creator's - no matter who the person may be.

 

So here we are - stuck in a time and place where ladies are constantly bombarded by the supposed 'need' to be tan as a beach bum, have unnaturally white teeth like in the toothpaste commercials, be as skinny as a pole and yet wear a size D bra... America's "requirements for physical beauty" could go on and on indefinitely.  

 

And with all these pressures, and the exposure to people who supposedly "look better/hotter/more beautiful than us", let's face it. Most of us struggle with self-hatred concerning our bodies, in some form.

 

Body image self-hate is common today among each age group and body type. I know a very skinny girl in her mid-teens, who thinks she needs to lose weight/go on a diet...and I should mention, she's tall and could probably be considered model material, in some talent agencies.

On our beach trip, I met a 13 year old cheerleader, with an athletic/average build. She complained on end about her body's many supposed 'flaws', even though in my eyes, she looked perfectly healthy.

And then you have ladies in their later stages of life, looking in the mirror and sighing at the grey hairs and wrinkles.

 

All this discontentment! And the irony of it all, is that what one girl hates about herself, most everyone else will shrug off or think is totally healthy and beautiful.

 

I want to share a bit of my personal self-hate journey with y'all.

 

As a 12 year old, I wrote in my journal once that I thought myself fat and unattractive. I compared my body to those of some of my friends; because all throughout my life I have always been bigger than the other girls my age...as a 12 year old, I considered this an unpleasant fate.

As a child, I was the tallest in my Awana Bible club class. I was always as tall as, or taller than the boys in my age group. Things stayed this way until about thirteen...when boys I knew started getting tall really fast.

Even to this day, I am one of the tallest females that I know, and I weigh more than most of my girlfriends, and women I encounter, because of my larger body-build. Having to look up at other women is something I'm not used to, and it feels very odd.

 

I am not a small person. I will never be skinny, or *healthily* weigh under 120 pounds.

My hourglass body type is as curvy as an Appalachian mountain road, and a doctor told me once that I possessed shoulders which could "pull a plow." Needless to say, they are pretty broad shoulders for a girl. My waist is smaller, but my wide hips are my downfall. While I have never hated my entire body's appearance, I have continually found displeasure in my lower half - the behind and down.

 

I used to hate my legs just in general. Since hourglass figures usually maintain a steady weight all over their bodies, unlike apple figures, my legs are certainly not "bird legs". They've always possessed a lot of curve. Granted, most of this is muscle, but that's not apparent when you're trying on a pair of jeans and all you see in the mirror is "thunder-thighs".

 

My parents would assure me as an early teen that a person's weight had nothing to do with them being 'fat' or 'thin'. But since my weight always lingered a bit higher than other girls', I would abandon this truth and consider myself overweight. (which in reality, I wasn't)

 

And I'll admit today, that while I am content with my weight and physical standings, there are times when I find myself feeling disgusted with my naturally large thighs and butt. I am aware that it is just something to be expected with my body type, but as much as I try this is the one 'problem area' I have.

 

If we were all honest, we'd admit that there was something about our bodies we didn't care for in particular. In my case, it's my behind/thighs. I know some girls who don't like their arms, and some ladies who are sick of their tummies.

 

So, I guess what I'm saying is: Stop hating yourself! Satan will constantly try to drag our minds down into a state of depression and discontentment. He's found a way to do this, simply by implanting and encouraging self-hate ideas about our bodies; which pull us away from the reality that we are all created in YHWH's Image and exceedingly precious to Him.

The truth is, every single girl on planet earth is beautiful in His eyes. Did you hear that? Every single girl. Every single woman.

 

And He certainly didn't create us to be loathing our own visages!

 

So, y'all, I know this was kind of a out-of-nowhere, random (and long) post. But I hope it serves to encourage you about being thankful for the beautiful person our Creator made you to be.

Don't let the trash of the world contaminate your mind. Be set apart, and appreciate the incredible body you were given!

 

Choose to dwell in negativity, constantly bashing your body and questioning why God made you the way He did, and your life will reflect on this. Negativity breeds negativity.

 

If you dwell in contentment, your life will be blessed.

 

Now for some feedback. Is there a particular part of your body you struggle with appreciating? Do you have a "problem-spot?" What's one thing you LIKE about your body?

 

 

 

P.s. You're probably wondering now what happened to Bethany. I am guest posting for her today because she needed some time to work out some things in her busy schedule! Be looking for her return, next week.

Lip Plumping - Yay or Nay?

(photo credit of Liptiful)

 

Hello ladies!

This is Leah Kathryn.  You're probably wondering what happened to Bethany, right?

Well, unfortunately, she's been sick... (Get better soon, amiga!) so I'm covering for her today.

 

A thing that has been becoming increasingly popular lately is lip plumping.

Some women get it done through injections and harmful chemicals. Others, use more "natural" items  like the Liptiful tool, which doesn't require injection or chemical - it's simply a PVC like piece which creates suction on your mouth, intended to firm up your lip/mouth area.

 

Watch a video of how the Liptiful tool works here.

 

Liptiful sent me two of their plumpers a few weeks ago to review.



I was sent the "Pearly", pictured above, (photo taken from Liptiful Etsy shop) and a larger one.

The whole concept of using a plastic piece to create suction which in turn firms the mouth-area muscles is definitely rather intriguing.  The individual pieces themselves are decorated really cute, too.

However, after some discussion on these items, with my dear Mom, I've been led to question further the entire premise of 'lip plumping.'
What exactly is the point?

We live in a society which tells us that big, poufy, "plump" lips are enviable and "sexy". Models and celebrities are seen flaunting huge lips - Many whose original form and size has been altered by surgical, artificial means - implants, or injections.

Is this the image of health and true beauty?
 

 


(Sorry if these pictures disturb you - I just wanted to show the reality of what is being displayed today as attractive!)

If you already have naturally full lips, I'm not saying you should somehow find a way to change that and make them un-full. That would be ridiculous!  What I'm saying is, I believe lip plumping is something that's done because girls and women aren't satisfied with how their lips already look.(Do I catch a hint of ungratefulness?)

Obviously, true modesty and beauty revolves around being content with what God has already given you.

Now, some argue that lip plumping/exercise is no different than working out the rest of your body. But think about this for a moment. When you weight lift or go for a run, you're building muscle and keeping your body strong and fit; thus able to work and operate at the most optimal capability.

What does lip plumping achieve that's comparable to over-all body health? Does lip plumping burn calories, make you more physically capable of serving others, or help build discipline and good lifestyle habits?
Be honest with yourself, even though this may sound like a drastic question - do you think lip plumping points other people to God?

Do you think a Proverbs 31 woman would plump her lips?

Speaking of such, Bethany actually did a post on lips , some time ago, which has relevance to this topic.
As she stated therein, we can use our lips to ensnare and tempt, if we wish. We can use our lips to bring attention to ourselves, and very easily.

But is that true beauty?

Personally, whenever I hear "lip plumping", I just think that it's really nothing more than another attempt to be sexy. (And we all know that sexy girls aren't modest girls!)

So, overall, I'll have to give this product a thumbs-down. 
Girls, you were made beautiful - yes, even your lips - from the very beginning! And you don't need lip plumping to show this.

 In Christ,

 

 Note: I was provided this item from Liptiful in exchange for my honest review. All opinions stated are mine and mine alone.

A Story of True Beauty

Sherry went to high school during the ‘70s in Artesia, New Mexico. She wasn’t an overly pretty girl. She wasn’t ugly; she just didn’t fit the world’s idea of beautiful. She had freckles, a round face, and while Sherry wasn’t fat, she was big boned. She had a stocky, more masculine looking figure. Over all, Sherry was just kind of plain and ordinary.

You might say, “Well, she must not have been very popular!” But this was hardly the case. You see Sherry may not have been the prettiest girl on the block, but she was vivacious! She was fun! The guys like her; the girls liked her. She had her share of dates though high school. The reason was as simple as brownies and ice cream! Sherry chose to be beautiful on the inside. She kept herself clean and neat, but she didn’t make her outward appearance her main focus. She didn’t spend hours in front of the mirror trying to find just the right outfit to make her look slender; she didn’t hide her freckles under layers of foundation, or spend all her allowance on hair products. She simply decided she was going to be happy with the way Yahweh had made her, and see that she was as pretty as she could be on the inside.

Sherry had a classmate named Vicki. Vicki was a cheerleader. She had a clear complexion, beautiful blond hair, and a super model figure. She had everything: guys, friends, attention; you name it, she had it. Don’t think that because of this Vicki was a snob, she wasn’t. She was a nice girl, people liked to be around her, but her beauty was earthly. She didn’t realize that she needed more than just good looks to get through life. She didn’t know that her own choices would decide if she was popular or not, regardless of whether she looked flawless or if she was fat and had pimples on her face.

Let’s fast forward a few years. My dad, the person who told me this story had gone away to college, met and married another beautiful woman and later moved back to Artesia. One day he walked into a laundromat to see a young woman, grown old before her time doing laundry for several small children. Her name was Vicki. He remarked to me that this woman who had once been one of, if not the prettiest and most popular girl in school was now simply ugly.

Vicki had loved a good looking, popular football player who also seemed to have everything. Not long into their marriage she found that not only was he lazy and irresponsible, but he was violent and dangerous. Finally he had left her for another woman and she was now trying to provide for her 3 young children alone. She had chosen to focus on outward beauty instead of cultivating inward beauty and growing in wisdom. Her choices continue to effect her today.

Later he was shopping in another store when a gorgeous brunette walked in the door! It seemed like the whole place lit up the moment she entered! Sherry had grown more and more beautiful as she got older because she made the right choice.

After chatting with her, my dad found that she also had married. Her husband was not as popular as Vicki’s; he was an ordinary, hardworking, farmer’s son. My Dad had never met this man, but he could plainly see that Sherry was happily married to someone who must have been, and still is a wonderful man!

 

This is a true story and one that happens all the time. May we be like Sherry and seek the true beauty that comes from serving Yeshua!

"Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price."-1 Peter 3:3-4

 

 

What IS Beautiful?

Beautiful-what is it exactly? We throw the word around and act as if we know what it is, when in reality, we have no idea. Hollywood, magazines and blogs all try to define it. The honest truth is-everyone of you girls are drop dead gorgeous! No, seriously! God made you so precious! We girls often have a hard time with this, though I can't really tell you the reason for this. We put ourselves down in our thoughts, "I'm not pretty enough." or "I'm not skinny enough." Too tall, too short  too skinny, too fat, where does it end? I honestly believe every person has something about themselves that they don't like. 

A Smile Is Your Best Accessory!

The realization that we're not perfect can be a good thing, in some cases. The Bible mentions many times how much God hates pride- 

• "Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the Lord; be assured, he will not go unpunished." Proverbs 16:5
• "One's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor." Proverbs 29:23
• See also: Galatians 6:3, Proverbs 27:2 and James 4:6

So obviously, it's very clear that we shouldn't run around being proud of ourselves and screaming it in the streets to every person we pass! However, I don't believe we should be ashamed of our looks either. The perfect balance comes when we  realize God made us beautiful, we didn't really have anything to do with it! 

Then there's the other side-self hate. Otherwise known as; body bashing, low self esteem, ingratitude and many others. I'm not going to tell you that I'm always happy with my hair, or always happy with my body! But when the negative thoughts start coming, I have a challenge for you. I want you to look yourself straight in the eye (in the mirror of course!) and say "You don't define me, God made me beautiful." And then don't allow yourself to dwell on the negative thoughts, keep repeating it in your head and above all else, pray! Ask God to help you see yourself the way He sees you, stunning and perfect in your own way. 

You should also keep in mind that your outward beauty is only a small part of who you are! I've known people who wouldn't have been considered outwardly beautiful, but as I got to know them, they became beautiful because they had a beautiful personality, a love for Christ. On the other side of things, I've known "beautiful people" that when I got to know them, their true character came through and they became ugly to me. Not because they were, outwardly, but because their heart wasn't beautiful.    

And now I have another hard challenge for you-I want you to comment on this post and list 3 physical qualities, or character qualities that you like about yourself! I know, this can be a hard exercise, don't worry! No one is timing you! 

    

"Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:3-4

Just So Beautiful!

You are so beautiful!  Your eyes are gorgeous the way they sparkle when you smile, your hair is so pretty, your chin is perfect, your pink lips so sweet.  God created you exactly the way you should be and He has the best taste!

I wish that I knew each one of you reading this today and could say that to each one of you personally.  As a young woman, I know how important it is for women to feel beautiful and I also know that so many women don't feel pretty at all.  The society we live in has distorted beauty and created this fake, anorexic model with big boobs and long legs.  When a woman like Jennifer Lawrence is called "fat"....you know to quit listening to those doing the calling!

I have struggled with being content with my looks since I was a little girl.  When I was 11 years old, I had acne like you wouldn't believe (actually, you probably would....I wasn't the only one I just thought I was.)  When I was 16, I still was not content with my looks even though I was the perfect weight for my frame, had long pretty hair and the acne was minimal.  By the time I turned 18, I had started to put on a little weight.  Like my mother, I was hippy and even shorter than her, so on me, 5 pounds looks like 10 and skirts that fit in the hips are huge at my waist.  I gained gradually over the next 4 years, always wishing I could lose it and be perfect but only succeeded in growing more and more dissatisfied with my body.

Last summer, due to stress, lack of sleep and lots of sugar, I gained 20 pounds in 2 months and 30 over the space of about 4 months.  Since then, I have grown to hate the way I look.  I would spend an hour just trying to find something to wear that made me look more slender.  I used to still like how I looked at least on some days, but I didn't at all anymore.  I just wanted to be skinny again.

Over the past 7 months I have gradually come to a realization and that is that no matter how much I weigh, or if I have clear skin or zits or if my hair is wavy or thin....my Lord still loves me and He does not want me to be focusing on what I dislike about myself.

I'm learning to be content with how I look TODAY.  Some talk about loving yourself and as mixed up as they may be, there is some truth in that.  So many of us girls hate ourselves and it shows in the way we dress, act and what we eat.

I noticed something not too long ago.  For a while no one ever complimented me on my looks or told me I was beautiful.  I thought it was just because I was fat until the day that I began to dress myself to look lovely rather than dressing myself to look skinny.  I haven't lost a pound but more than once I've been complimented and even though the flubber is still there where I don't want it to be, I still feel beautiful when I put on a pretty outfit and a flower in my hair...and others think so too because I am happy with the way I look.

I saw a clip of a show once where they were showcasing geeks turned super stars.  A woman on the show had discovered a 13 year old girl who was constantly and cruelly bullied for her looks.  After setting up the story, they brought this young girl onto the stage and I was shocked.  Her outfit was normal, nothing smashing but not crazy ugly at all.  Her glasses were kinda cute, her gorgeous wavy hair was pulled back in an adorable side pony-tail, her features were perfectly proportioned, she was neither under nor overweight...I still haven't figured out what the bullies didn't like.  From the world's standpoint, she should have been one of the popular girls, but she was convinced she was ugly!

I so wanted to hug her and tell her how beautiful she really is.  Not just her, but also every other woman that I meet.  You need to know that you ARE beautiful just the way you are.  Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise...including yourself.

"Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee." -Song of Solomon 4:7

What Do Your Eyes Say About You?

 

In the last several weeks, numerous young ladies here at APOC have discussed what true, inner modesty and beauty is, and how it can manifest on the outside.

 

And, following that line of thought, I have a question for you. What is the first thing you notice when you look at another person? When you're talking to someone else, where do your eyes naturally drift to?

 

The eyes have been called the window to the soul, and rightly so.

And they're what we're going to talk about today.

 

The human eyes.

 

Eyes are one of the main body parts mentioned in Scripture. Eyes are our window to the world around us, and how we visualize reality. Without our eyes, we wouldn't be able to enjoy the myriad of beauty of our world...from the bright greens and blues found in forests and the sky above us, to the vivid yellows and reds found in the insect and animal realm.

Our eyes let us partake in an incredible visual experience daily. They truly are an amazing blessing given to us by Jehovah God. Personally, I try to thank Him for the gift of sight each day.

 

Have you ever heard the saying which says that sometimes you don't have to say anything, you can just communicate with your eyes alone?

 

 

 

 

 

It's so true that it doesn't even need to be said to be recognised. We all communicate immensely with our eyes, whether consciously or unconsciously. We might give nasty looks when somebody says something we don't like. We might narrow our eyes skeptically, or open them wide in surprise.

 

Flirting is usually done mainly with the eyes.

 

Joy can practically radiate from the eyes; just as sadness, pain or discouragement can be manifested through a downcast look, without any effort.

 

 

How does one lust? With their eyes. (Matthew 5:28)

 

So, as you can see, the eyes are vital in displaying many of the uncountable human emotions we feel each day. We use our eyes to judge and discern. And like anything else, we can use them either for good, or for evil.

 

 

 

That brings me to how the eyes connect with modesty and glorifying God.

 

A girl/guy could be dressed totally modest and appropriately, but have immodest eyes.

 

What do I mean by "immodest eyes", you might be wondering?

 

It doesn't have anything to do with excessive make-up, although, that can play a part in the topic.

 

Ultimately, it has everything to do with your heart, and your mind. You, on the inside. If you have a cheerful, joyous spirit, it will come through in your eyes. If you are angry or discontented, it will seep through into your eyes. It will become visible through them, unless you attempt to hide it.

 

If you are trying to grab the attention of the opposite gender, it will show in your eyes. This doesn't apply merely to girls and women. Guys can flirt/be immodest with their eyes just as easily.

 

In Scripture, immoral women have been described as having flattering lips, smooth words and alluring eyes/eyelids. 

 

Proverbs 6:25 "Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids."

 

 

This verse is a prime example. We don't see anything in Proverbs or any other Biblical book for that matter which describes a man committing sin with a woman because of her other body parts. It is always described as having to do with the face. The eyes, and mouth in particular. Obviously people can and do have lust problems with the other body parts, but I find it interesting how God doesn't focus on that. He instead points out the danger of a woman who allures with her eyes.

 

Look at a lot of photos in secular magazines. Most of the models have a seductive look, just in their eyes alone. You wouldn't even need to see the rest of their bodies to know that they are trying to be "sexy" and sensual. Now, cosmetics do have a lot to do with this. Most ladies throw on WAY too much eye make up, not only making them look more seductive but also detracting from their natural beauty.

 

I personally really like using my natural mineral eye shadows from Madison Street Beauty.  I don't wear them very often, usually for something more formal like my dad's conferences or church events. I always am careful to not overdo it., and the one time that I did, thankfully my mom helped me become aware of the fact. Make-up is totally okay in my opinion as long as it's used in moderation. And, as long as you don't start relying on it like a crutch...or start feeling naked without it. Then you're getting into ungratefulness with how God made you!

 

 

I am regretful to say this, but I have been inappropriate with my eyes before. And I wasn't wearing make-up, either. I have used my eyes to get attention from guys, in the past. I am not happy to tell y'all that it worked.

 

Girls, don't underestimate the power of your eyes!

 

You can tell so much about yourself just through them. Your eyes can radiate with cheerfulness and you can shine like the sun, reflecting the Son. You can let them drip with a sultry unthankfulness, or burn with a frustrated, angry spirit. Or, you can use them to tempt the opposite gender, pulling the attention away from God and to yourself.

 

It's your choice.

 

What do your eyes say about you?

 

 

Judging Others

 Today, I'm going to write something that I have to be a bit careful about. I don't want to offend anyone, but this is something we were talking about today. As Christian girls, modesty is important, but so is having a good spirit. Sometimes, we might have the tendency to look down on people for what they wear.

 The Bible tells us to be modest, and there are varied opinions on what is modest. There is also something called personal convictions. This is when a person feels that the Lord is wanting them to dress a certain way. At least as far as clothing goes. Personal convictions can translate to many things. If someone is doing something, wearing something, the Bible doesn't tell us not too, that we would not do, that is our personal conviction.

 For example, some people believe skirts should go to the ankles, or mid calf. I feel comfortable if a skirt is below my knees. Some people only believe in wearing skirts, while others think jeans are okay, as long as they aren't too tight, and showing off your body. Clothing is a tricky thing. I believe everything should be modest, but we have to careful not to start viewing other people as less of a Christian then we are because their skirt is a few inches shorter or something of the sort.

 The most important thing to remember is this: No matter how a person is dressed, they are a soul in need of love. How can we show Christ to anyone if we're looking down on them all the time?

 This is a spiritual thing that I encourage every girl to pray about. It IS important that we not wear anything that would displease God, so we should pray without ceasing to see what His will is for this. But we can't let clothing become the most important thing to us, because in the end, if a person gets to the place they need to be with God, the clothing will fall in line with Him as well.

 We should seek the Lord to have good spirits, that we might be a blessing and encouragement to everyone we meet, no matter how they dress. I still believe in modesty, but some things may be modest without lining up with our personal convictions. We can't confuse conviction with commandment. So let's just be an encouragement to everyone.

 I hope you've all had a wonderful day! God bless! :)

 

Classy, or Not-So-Classy?

 

Few visits to Walmart yield anything less than interesting (if not sad or disturbing) observances. I swear I could fill a library with stuff I've learned and observed while shopping at Walmart.

 

Last Sunday was no exception.

 

We went to church, and had lunch out afterwards. Mom and I had some things we needed to get at a particular clothing store so all seven of us trekked down there and 'quickly' stopped at Walmart(for about 3 hours) afterwards.

 

Few days have I seen such visible comparisons of classy versus non-classy.

 

Now, I know what I'm about to say deals with men, and dressing well on their end; and I don't know if there are any men/boys reading this, but in case there are y'all should know that modesty and class doesn't pertain to us women and girls alone.

Sure, women aren't nearly as visually-oriented as men, but we can still be tempted. But this isn't what I'm going to talk about today. 

Today, we're going to look at some stark visual comparisons of classy...and not-so-classy. (As I already stated above)

So. Where was I? Oh yes. We were just walking into a particular clothing store and we saw a couple exit just as we entered the place. First glance, I thought it was an elderly couple, by how they were dressed. And then I noticed something...the man, wasn't elderly in the least. In the brief seconds I saw him. I summed him up to be around my age. A.k.a., maybe late teens. Mom concurred on this since she also saw him herself.

Okay, I'll be honest with y'all.
Sometimes I forget there are teenage guys out there who actually dress with class and true style. This may sound arrogant or pious and I hope it doesn't come across that way to you. But around my part of the world, I see very few people(both men and women!) who dress with a sense of dignity and self-respect. It's a rarity...and the few I see who do dress with class, I appreciate greatly.

The guy at the clothing store was one of these examples. He didn't have low-rider, overly-baggy pants which he had to hike up every other second., and he wasn't wearing some  skin  tight muscle shirt/tank top, either.
He looked like a gentleman.

Why did I think he looked like an elderly man the first second I noticed him?  For the same reason people usually mistake me for a 20-something mom or college student.

How you dress can say a lot about you. And in today's culture, it can even depict your age. Doesn't that sound pretty ridiculous to you, clothing which gives away your age?

Well, it does to me. Especially considering how, for most of the earth's history, people have done the opposite of this.

In days past, as soon as girls reached a certain age, they dressed like their mothers.
 From people of the middle ages to the early Native Americans. Boys did the same thing. You didn't have all these sub-categories for clothing...kids, juniors, misses, women's, petites. You didn't have "old lady" clothing or "hip" teen garb. (However, there were/are some societies which did (and do) assign certain styles to womens' clothing depending on their age and marital status.)

I'm getting off-topic, aren't I? Sorry. Another topic to be saved for yet another day.

 I know that people can dress with perfect modesty and excellent taste and still have immodest, depraved hearts.
In fact, I've met several people who may have dressed completely fine and met all the modesty standards, but on the inside, they were rebellious and defiant toward their parents(if they were young people/teens/kids). Or, maybe they wanted to break free of the 'bondage' they assumed modesty to be, and go wear all the skimpy outfits their friends got to wear.

Each person's story is different. Sometimes, modesty concerning what you wear can become legalistic and a burden. Sometimes it can become an idol, even. I've seen it happen. Pride can develop in my heart sometimes if I let it. My flesh wants me to think about "how much better" I am than the other girls who show off their bodies and flaunt themselves. (whether intentionally or unintentionally)

But this sin is just as bad (if not worse) as the immodesty itself.  It is important that we always remember who we are. Saved by grace, and children of God. At the same time, we need to remember where we came from and not look down on the others around us. We were all created in the image of God!

Nonetheless, I'll stress again: How you dress shows the world a little piece of who you are.

The same day we saw the classy-dressed dude at the clothing store, we went to Walmart and saw completely the opposite of his example.

A guy wearing camo overalls with no shirt underneath. Practically 98% of all young women wearing tight, revealing shirts and bottoms. Guys with saggy britches falling down to their ankles and shirts 10 sizes too big for them.

Looking at the stuff some of the girls were wearing, I wondered how that kind of style could even be vaguely appealing for a girl to want to wear. Some styles I see people wearing, I like. But more and more these days this isn't the case. Even the color choices of shirts have become more and more just...just plain ol' tacky! Even if the shirt were modest, it was lacking any form of beauty or class. It was ugly.

I know everybody has their own tastes, and I'm totally fine with that. I know the "classy dude" could easily have been an atheist who wanted nothing to do with his Creator. He could've been somebody very flirtatious or immodest in his mannerisms, for all I know.

But, my point is this: In this culture, first impressions are everything. Most people you meet you will probably never see again. You can be seen dressed appropriately and with a sense of class and dignity, which will have a whole lot more impact on people than you may think, because it is becoming so rare among young people. You might be able to encourage a single person just by wearing something flattering and modest.

Class is dying out, yes. But it doesn't have to die out completely.

And most importantly, beyond just being 'classy' or having self-respect, even beyond dressing conscientiously of not being a stumbling block to the opposite gender...is this: We should dress for the glory of our Maker. Don't get caught up in self-righteousness or piety because of what you wear, but consider your appearance to be a testament to who you are and what you live for.

Let your person radiate with the Lord's love and joy, and you will possess true beauty. Learn to embrace self-lessness and cheerfulness and you will discover part of what being a virtuous woman is.

You will be truly classy.

I know this post rambled from topic to topic, but I needed to clarify some things as I went. I hope this post was encouraging to you and that you have a wonderful, blessed week!