Yes, I Actually Love My Body

Think you're fat? Don't like how short you are? Don't like your not-so-chiseled stomach? Think you're too skinny and wish you had more curves? Wish your hair were straight instead of curly, or vice-versa? Unhappy with the fact that you don't have a thigh-gap?

Is it just me, or does it seem like everybody hates something about themselves? Nearly every woman or girl is dissatisfied with her physical appearance in some way or another. Even if it's a little detail that most people wouldn't even notice. WE ourselves notice. Oh, yes we do. And then we obsess over it until self-hatred even occurs.

 

For crying out loud, isn't about time we dumped the whole mess?

 

Self-hatred is so contagious.

 

In the media, we see it non-stop. All these articles on how to supposedly improve our physique, look hotter and get more attention from the dudes. Why? Because apparently we aren't amazing enough already? Apparently so, or articles like that wouldn't exist.

 

Does this bother you at all? It should. It certainly does, with me. There are many reasons why I'm irked by the self-hatred society has encouraged women to have toward their bodies, but I'm only going to give one for now.

 

Psalm 139:14 - "I will praise Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knoweth right well."

 

Did you see that? Fearfully and wonderfully made. Not ugly, worthless, or trash. Not even a fixer-upper, or a 'needs improvement.' Do you see where it says any of these things? Me neither.

 

Bath & Body Works! A favorite!

We are created in God's own Image. How could that make us anything less than beautiful?

 Contrary to a lot of what I hear being said these days, I actually love my body. Yep, that's right. I love every inch of me. Wouldn't trade this skin for any other.

 

*GASP* She actually...is satisfied with her appearance! Is.....is that a crime? A sin? Pride? Self-conceited?

 

No, it's not a crime, and it's certainly not a sin. You can call it pride or self-conceit, but I call it gratitude and contentment.

 

For a while, as an early teen, this was hard for me to grasp. I was pretty dissatisfied with parts of my body, to be honest. When I was 12, I even thought I was fat. (I wasn't.)

I was ungrateful. I was missing the unique beauty that God had given me, and mistaking it for something less than beauty.

 

But that changed as I matured and learned more about God's plan for my life.

 

See, I realize how Christ made me to be the person I am, and not someone else. If I weren't supposed to be Leah Oxendine, I wouldn't be Leah Oxendine. He knew what He was doing when He put me on this planet. I've learned to see myself and all my flaws and appreciate everything because it's what makes me me.

 

My body is His temple. Ultimately it's only a borrowed vessel. Dare I insult my Creator by calling it ugly?

 

I love my long, soft auburn hair.

I love my turquoise-blue eyes. 

I love my long fingers.

I love my hourglass shape. (Yes, it's curvy! And yes, I'm proud of that! Another shocker? I'm getting  sick of 'curvy' being used as a plus-size only term. You don't have to be plus-sized to be naturally curvy. And naturally curvy doesn't equal plus-size.)

I love that I'm fairly muscular.

I love that I'm not skinny.

I love that I'm not fat. 

I love that I'm the weight that's normal for my body type.

 I don't wish I was anything other than what I am.

I don't think I'm fat.

I don't think I've ever been fat.

I love that I'm taller than most.

And I love that I had scoliosis, because that kept me from being too much taller than my boyfriend. (haha!)

 

Newly arranged jewelry/dressing corner.

Kinda mindblown? Not used to seeing something where the girl wasn't complaining about her appearance?

Me either. That's exactly why I decided this post needed to be written. It's about time that positive things were written about one's self-image. It's about time somebody stepped out of the mire of self-hate, and learned to live in gratitude. It's about time a girl looked in the mirror at herself and smiled because she genuinely liked what she saw. It's about time a woman saw herself in a photo and thanked her Maker for crafting her the way He did.

 

Do you have a hard time finding things to love about yourself?

 

It's about time that changed.

 

It's about time we stop hating ourselves and learn to appreciate the bodies we 've been given.

 

One simple way to do this is to stop listening to the propaganda and lies of the modern media and society. Stop caring what the pop culture 'beauty experts' are saying.  Stop looking at billboard models and thinking to yourself how you don't measure up. Stop comparing yourself to friends or celebrities. Stop looking down at the scale and being disgusted with your weight. 

 

What else can you do? Start digging into God's Word about what the definition of beauty truly is.

Start working on keeping your temple strong and healthy by feeding it real food (raw and unprocessed is always best!) and not convenience junk. Exercise at least several times a week to keep your blood circulating and your body functioning at its best. Try toning workouts to get everything firm and solid. Get outside and enjoy the great outdoors - the fresh air will clear your mind! Start surrendering your thoughts to Jesus and go to Him in prayer about your issues and struggles. Start serving others more and engaging in ministry, to get your mind off self-centeredness.

Start looking yourself in the mirror every day and thinking how gorgeous you are. Start finding things to appreciate about your appearance, even if they're small things to start out with.

 

Sparkly heels from Payless which I saw and decided were worth buying!

 Are you willing to join me in this quest to abolish self-hate? Do you have a blog of your own? If so, I invite you to write a post of your own, on what you love about yourself and why. Please comment below with the link when you're done, so I can check it out! APOC may even feature it in the future.

 

Loving your body could be a major paradigm shift, if you've always lived in frustration or dissatisfaction with yourself. It may be very hard in the beginning. You might wonder if it will ever be possible.

But don't give up. With God, all things are possible. And in this case, I know He will bless you for your efforts. Why?

 

 Because He always blesses a grateful heart.

 

Blessings,

Lovely

  I am so sorry, girls....I had my post all ready to go and totally forgot to post it before I ran off to work this morning!  Here it is, but make sure you don't miss Bethany's post right below mine! :)

 

  I had seen her in pictures and I knew that she was very pretty, but I was not prepared for the breath-taking beauty that walked into church that morning.  I could easily see why my brothers were smitten with her.  Silver rings graced her fingers and bracelets dangled from her slender wrists.  Her hair was swept up in a loose bun with wisps of hair framing her face and just barely covering the diamonds in her ears.  Her dark eyes lit up when she smiled and communicated energy, life and love.  Though barely seventeen, here was a young woman with the power to give life or to destroy it perhaps without ever knowing.

As I thought about this young woman and the effect that she could potentially, if not already, have on my brothers and all the other men and boys that she will meet throughout her life I realized something that I had not really given much thought to before.  At least, not in quite the same way.

All my life I have been taught at my parents' side, from the pulpit and straight from the Scriptures that a woman should focus on cultivating that inner beauty that comes from being wholly submitted to Jesus Christ.  But the thing that most people never mentioned was the importance of being physically beautiful as well.

In the book of Ezekiel, chapter 16, God describes how He took His Bride and clothed her with linen and silk and put bracelets on her arms, a chain about her neck, a jewel on her forehead, earrings in her ears and a crown on her head.

 From studying both Scripture and God's Creation around us, I think it is very obvious that God loves beauty.  He created women to be beautiful and He designed men to want a beautiful woman.  He created the flowers in the field "which today is and tomorrow is thrown into the oven".  He created the sky with it's alternately brilliant hues of blue, red, yellow, purple, green.  The peacock is known for its vibrant feathers and the monarch butterfly with its bright orange wings.  Who is to say that God does not love physical beauty?

When Paul exhorted women to, "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;" (1 Tim. 2:9) I believe that he was not telling them that being outwardly beautiful means nothing and should be not be thought of at all.  He did not mean that all women who strive to follow Christ should throw away all of their jewels and pretty clothes and never braid their hair.  Not at all for this would not be consistent with the rest of Scripture.

His point seems to be that, as followers of Christ, women should be more concerned with inner beauty rather than being like the women of that time who did little else than make themselves beautiful by braiding gold and jewels into their hair (this was a woman's dowry usually worth thousands of dollars and used to show off her wealth to potential suitors) and dressing themselves in expensive and usually revealing clothing.

Back to my story...I sat there in church thinking about what a precious gift that God has given this girl and how she might use it and I realized that God has given every woman that same gift each in her own unique way, including me.  The gift of beauty.  This gift has been used for evil throughout the history of the earth, but it was originally intended for good.  I got to thinking about different things that I could change in myself in order to use the gift given to me in order to glorify my Lord.

I realized that cultivating inner beauty is the most important aspect of a beautiful woman and it is the only facet of beauty that can stand on its own.  But it is not the only facet of beauty that is commendable.  If a younger woman who perhaps was compromised and not seeking God met another young woman a little older than her...would she be more apt to look up to that sister and want to be like her if the other woman took care to be strong and healthy and carefully dressed herself in a way that enhanced her beauty and made people say, "There goes a lovely woman." when she walked in the room?  I got to thinking that if a teenage girl were going after the world and she met me, could I have an influence on her?  Would she be intrigued to find that it is possible to be both modest and tastefully dressed?  Would she be inspired to be lovely rather than trendy?  Or would she look at me and think that I was just another conservative homeschooled graduate trying not to be too attractive...and succeeding at it?

 

I wondered also if I might perhaps use this gift and any influence that God gives me, to turn my brothers and other young men toward the right path by influencing those women who can do them so much damage or so much good? 

I hope that as I grow older, I will be for younger sisters what my older sister and a few others have been for me.  I hope that I can pass on what I learn about what true beauty looks like and draw others to follow my Lord as well.

What Is "Lady-Like"?

 

 Checking APOC mail in my inbox, I found a note from a young lady requesting help on knowing what "becoming a lady"is.  Here is what she said:

 

 

Dear A Pinch Of Classy,
After about a year of struggling with it and living on the border, I've decided it's time for me to become a lady. What do you suppose that entails? I've worn skirts for a long time, and my casual is the same as my Sunday clothes, so my dress style I don't think needs to change. For me, it has so far meant running up stairs one step at a time as opposed to two, and not wrestling with my brothers (though I still race them). I think I'm missing something, though. If you would please pray about it and post a reply, I'd be most appreciative. I'll pray about it too.
Sincerely, A New-found Lady  

 

 

Well, New-Found Lady, first of all, that is an excellent question!  I am glad to hear you want to become a lady and want to know how to carry yourself like one.

 

For centuries women have strived to be "lady-like".  Only until the last 50 years in particular has this striving deteriorated greatly from society. 

 

Whenever I hear the term lady-like, I tend to automatically associate it with being classy, and possessing a sense of modesty. I think these three go hand in hand with each other perfectly.

 

So what does it mean to be a "lady?" What does it mean to be "lady-like?"

 

The 1828 Webster's dictionary describes the word lady in this manner.

 

LA'DY, n. "A woman of distinction. Originally, the title of lady was given to the daughters of earls and others in higher rank, but by custom, the title belongs to any woman of genteel education."

 

LA'DY-LIKE, a. "Like a lady in manners; genteel; well-bred."

 

What does genteel mean? From the same 1828 Webster's dictionary:

 

GENTEE'L, a. 1. "Polite; well-bred; easy and graceful in manners or behavior..." 2., "Graceful in mein or form; elegant..." 3. "Decorous; refined; free from anything low or vulgar..."

 

I think genteel sums up "lady-like" pretty well.  A true lady is in essence, a true woman. Feminine, graceful, never given to partaking in anything crass, crude or vulgar.  Refined. Thoughtful of others.

 

You asked how one can become a lady, and what this entails.

 

I am speaking from my own personal opinion when I say that being lady-like is far more than just carrying yourself like a queen and never laughing at rude jokes.

 

You said that you have worn skirts for a long time and don't think your outfit choices are what need changing.

Quite honestly, I personally do not believe skirts automatically define you as a lady. I have seen young women who wear long skirts and act like childish little girls instead of true ladies. I have been one of those young women, myself. 

 

 If you would like to become a lady than you need not focus overly on your clothes because that is not the core of what being a lady is. Yes, your choice of apparel has everything to do with the topic, but it is not what is most important.

And for the record, I think pants (as long as they are modest) are totally fine and that you can still be a lady in pants. (Even though I have always felt classier and more lady-like in skirts and dresses, personally.)

 

 You also said that "For me, it has so far meant running up stairs one step at a time as opposed to two, and not wrestling with my brothers (though I still race them)."

 

As a sister to 4 younger brothers, I can completely relate with you here. *smiles* In fact, a couple months ago even I wrestled with the eldest one who is 13. I used to wrestle and fight him pretty frequently, but now I have generally stopped wrestling with Will because, obviously, it isn't very appropriate given the ages we are both at currently, with him going through puberty, especially.
However, we still box sometimes and chase each other around the house doing poke wars.

I don't think that being lady-like means you can't ever do anything physical. Actually I greatly detest that line of thinking because...well, honestly, it's no fun! If you are still in your childhood/teen hood/in a situation where you can still run around with your siblings, than I would highly suggest you take advantage of it while it's still there. It is a gift, and as you grow up, it will eventually be gone.

Now, when I jump on the trampoline with my brothers, I make sure that I wear something adequate. Pants and a shirt which don't fly up revealingly, or a skirt with something underneath it. When I run, I follow the same rule. (You can get other ideas for what to wear while doing these kind of activities here)

So, in conclusion to whether or not you should run two steps at a time down the stairs or wrestle with your brothers, and how this affects your being a lady; I would say that depending on you and your brothers' ages, the wrestling probably isn't very lady-like. If you are in your early teens, or your brothers are much younger than you, than it might be alright. (Depending on what you wear and how rough you get!) But if you are like me, a 17 year old girl, and your brother is like mine, entering puberty, I would advise against it.

The stairs-issue? I'll admit that I still do the double-step thing sometimes. ;) Once again it totally depends on where you are and who you're with, as well as what you're wearing.

Being a lady can range from how you sit on the couch to how you walk, and how you carry a conversation. It really goes hand in hand, as I said earlier, with being modest and classy.

Want to act like a lady? Never do anything you wouldn't think is appropriate or becoming for someone your age and gender. Hold your head highly but don't look down your nose at people.
Stand up straight, and don't slouch. I have been told that I looked regal when I did this. (Even though obviously I don't do things just to be told I looked 'regal'!)

Ladies speak with purpose and clarity.

Ladies think of others before themselves, and strive to be selfless and generous with their time, possessions and abilities.

These are just a few things which I believe come with being a lady. As I said, it is a very subjective matter. While there are certain absolutes, e.g., ladies never flirt or wear clothing which flaunts their bodies, ssometimes, what might be good for one person is totally wrong for another, and vice versa.

My mother is a true lady. I have learned so much from her, and I'm sure you can probably do the same with your own mother or even grandmother. Look around you for examples of being truly-ladylike.


If you have any other questions, don't hesitate to ask! I hope this helped you and was encouraging to you. I would definitely suggest to continue praying about it.

I pray constantly that God would help me to flourish into a Godly, on-fire-for-Him woman. A real woman. I think this is a very important thing to strive for, even far above being "lady-like", because lady-like is more of a surface issue and being a Godly woman is more internal, a matter of the heart.


Hope you're having a blessed day!

What Does the Bible Say About Modesty?

Source

 

 

 

Modesty. That word alone is enough to turn most conversations sour. It's a subject that's difficult to discuss. Why? There are so many different views on it. So many different thoughts about what (especially clothing) is modest and what isn't.

mod-es-ty---Regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.

(from dictionary.com)

What exactly is modest? What isn't? Unfortunately, the Bible doesn't make it completely clear to us what is modest or what isn't. Should we be wearing floor length skirts all the time or are pants just fine? We are given no clear answer.

The Bible does give us some guidelines, of sorts, to use when we consider modesty.

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel...I Timothy 2:9

We are told to consider modesty when dressing ourselves. It is not an option. I've found that if an article of clothing makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, whether it be too low or too tight. It probably isn't the best thing to wear when considering modesty.

Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brother's way. Romans 14:13

This verse brings two more things to consider when thinking about modesty. We are not to be a stumbling block to our fellow Believers. This is especially important when considering our dress around men. Are we wearing this to create attention for ourselves? To make ourselves noticed? I'm not saying to go out in a feed sack or clothes with no shape, but going out in that shirt that's a tad bit too tight or that skirt that's a little higher than you feel comfortable in probably isn't the best.

But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to them that are weak. I Corinthians 8:9

This verse isn't necessarily for modesty, but I think it can be applied. Our liberty is to dress anyway we would like, but again we are told not to be a stumbling block to fellow Believers. We are to behave/dress in a way that does not cause others to sin.

One of the most common things I hear is, 'Well, it's their (meaning, men) sin. They're the ones looking.' Yes, but if we are dressing to draw attention to ourselves then we are helping them to sin. In helping our fellow brothers, we should dress to help them not to sin.

The second part of Romans 14:13 I would like to point out is let us not therefore judge one another any more. We can judge the other girl for not dressing like us. For wearing the slightly tighter shirt, the slightly tighter pants, but we are told not to judge. It's something I struggle with. Trying to build myself up because I'm the one wearing (in my mind) the modest clothes. It's not Christian-like and it's not my place to decide whether they are dressed to my standards of modesty.

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again. Matthew 7:1-2 (emphasis mine)

It's not my place to judge how others are dressed. For how I judge others, so shall I be judged on the same thing. 

 

So remember, dear sisters, modesty is a powerful thing. I believe there is a fine line between modest and unmodest and certain clothing is most definitely unmodest. How we dress is our choice, but we are to keep in mind our fellow Believers.

Keep it classy! (and modest!)

 

Classy, or Not-So-Classy?

 

Few visits to Walmart yield anything less than interesting (if not sad or disturbing) observances. I swear I could fill a library with stuff I've learned and observed while shopping at Walmart.

 

Last Sunday was no exception.

 

We went to church, and had lunch out afterwards. Mom and I had some things we needed to get at a particular clothing store so all seven of us trekked down there and 'quickly' stopped at Walmart(for about 3 hours) afterwards.

 

Few days have I seen such visible comparisons of classy versus non-classy.

 

Now, I know what I'm about to say deals with men, and dressing well on their end; and I don't know if there are any men/boys reading this, but in case there are y'all should know that modesty and class doesn't pertain to us women and girls alone.

Sure, women aren't nearly as visually-oriented as men, but we can still be tempted. But this isn't what I'm going to talk about today. 

Today, we're going to look at some stark visual comparisons of classy...and not-so-classy. (As I already stated above)

So. Where was I? Oh yes. We were just walking into a particular clothing store and we saw a couple exit just as we entered the place. First glance, I thought it was an elderly couple, by how they were dressed. And then I noticed something...the man, wasn't elderly in the least. In the brief seconds I saw him. I summed him up to be around my age. A.k.a., maybe late teens. Mom concurred on this since she also saw him herself.

Okay, I'll be honest with y'all.
Sometimes I forget there are teenage guys out there who actually dress with class and true style. This may sound arrogant or pious and I hope it doesn't come across that way to you. But around my part of the world, I see very few people(both men and women!) who dress with a sense of dignity and self-respect. It's a rarity...and the few I see who do dress with class, I appreciate greatly.

The guy at the clothing store was one of these examples. He didn't have low-rider, overly-baggy pants which he had to hike up every other second., and he wasn't wearing some  skin  tight muscle shirt/tank top, either.
He looked like a gentleman.

Why did I think he looked like an elderly man the first second I noticed him?  For the same reason people usually mistake me for a 20-something mom or college student.

How you dress can say a lot about you. And in today's culture, it can even depict your age. Doesn't that sound pretty ridiculous to you, clothing which gives away your age?

Well, it does to me. Especially considering how, for most of the earth's history, people have done the opposite of this.

In days past, as soon as girls reached a certain age, they dressed like their mothers.
 From people of the middle ages to the early Native Americans. Boys did the same thing. You didn't have all these sub-categories for clothing...kids, juniors, misses, women's, petites. You didn't have "old lady" clothing or "hip" teen garb. (However, there were/are some societies which did (and do) assign certain styles to womens' clothing depending on their age and marital status.)

I'm getting off-topic, aren't I? Sorry. Another topic to be saved for yet another day.

 I know that people can dress with perfect modesty and excellent taste and still have immodest, depraved hearts.
In fact, I've met several people who may have dressed completely fine and met all the modesty standards, but on the inside, they were rebellious and defiant toward their parents(if they were young people/teens/kids). Or, maybe they wanted to break free of the 'bondage' they assumed modesty to be, and go wear all the skimpy outfits their friends got to wear.

Each person's story is different. Sometimes, modesty concerning what you wear can become legalistic and a burden. Sometimes it can become an idol, even. I've seen it happen. Pride can develop in my heart sometimes if I let it. My flesh wants me to think about "how much better" I am than the other girls who show off their bodies and flaunt themselves. (whether intentionally or unintentionally)

But this sin is just as bad (if not worse) as the immodesty itself.  It is important that we always remember who we are. Saved by grace, and children of God. At the same time, we need to remember where we came from and not look down on the others around us. We were all created in the image of God!

Nonetheless, I'll stress again: How you dress shows the world a little piece of who you are.

The same day we saw the classy-dressed dude at the clothing store, we went to Walmart and saw completely the opposite of his example.

A guy wearing camo overalls with no shirt underneath. Practically 98% of all young women wearing tight, revealing shirts and bottoms. Guys with saggy britches falling down to their ankles and shirts 10 sizes too big for them.

Looking at the stuff some of the girls were wearing, I wondered how that kind of style could even be vaguely appealing for a girl to want to wear. Some styles I see people wearing, I like. But more and more these days this isn't the case. Even the color choices of shirts have become more and more just...just plain ol' tacky! Even if the shirt were modest, it was lacking any form of beauty or class. It was ugly.

I know everybody has their own tastes, and I'm totally fine with that. I know the "classy dude" could easily have been an atheist who wanted nothing to do with his Creator. He could've been somebody very flirtatious or immodest in his mannerisms, for all I know.

But, my point is this: In this culture, first impressions are everything. Most people you meet you will probably never see again. You can be seen dressed appropriately and with a sense of class and dignity, which will have a whole lot more impact on people than you may think, because it is becoming so rare among young people. You might be able to encourage a single person just by wearing something flattering and modest.

Class is dying out, yes. But it doesn't have to die out completely.

And most importantly, beyond just being 'classy' or having self-respect, even beyond dressing conscientiously of not being a stumbling block to the opposite gender...is this: We should dress for the glory of our Maker. Don't get caught up in self-righteousness or piety because of what you wear, but consider your appearance to be a testament to who you are and what you live for.

Let your person radiate with the Lord's love and joy, and you will possess true beauty. Learn to embrace self-lessness and cheerfulness and you will discover part of what being a virtuous woman is.

You will be truly classy.

I know this post rambled from topic to topic, but I needed to clarify some things as I went. I hope this post was encouraging to you and that you have a wonderful, blessed week!