What Does the Bible Say About Modesty?

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Modesty. That word alone is enough to turn most conversations sour. It's a subject that's difficult to discuss. Why? There are so many different views on it. So many different thoughts about what (especially clothing) is modest and what isn't.

mod-es-ty---Regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.

(from dictionary.com)

What exactly is modest? What isn't? Unfortunately, the Bible doesn't make it completely clear to us what is modest or what isn't. Should we be wearing floor length skirts all the time or are pants just fine? We are given no clear answer.

The Bible does give us some guidelines, of sorts, to use when we consider modesty.

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel...I Timothy 2:9

We are told to consider modesty when dressing ourselves. It is not an option. I've found that if an article of clothing makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, whether it be too low or too tight. It probably isn't the best thing to wear when considering modesty.

Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brother's way. Romans 14:13

This verse brings two more things to consider when thinking about modesty. We are not to be a stumbling block to our fellow Believers. This is especially important when considering our dress around men. Are we wearing this to create attention for ourselves? To make ourselves noticed? I'm not saying to go out in a feed sack or clothes with no shape, but going out in that shirt that's a tad bit too tight or that skirt that's a little higher than you feel comfortable in probably isn't the best.

But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to them that are weak. I Corinthians 8:9

This verse isn't necessarily for modesty, but I think it can be applied. Our liberty is to dress anyway we would like, but again we are told not to be a stumbling block to fellow Believers. We are to behave/dress in a way that does not cause others to sin.

One of the most common things I hear is, 'Well, it's their (meaning, men) sin. They're the ones looking.' Yes, but if we are dressing to draw attention to ourselves then we are helping them to sin. In helping our fellow brothers, we should dress to help them not to sin.

The second part of Romans 14:13 I would like to point out is let us not therefore judge one another any more. We can judge the other girl for not dressing like us. For wearing the slightly tighter shirt, the slightly tighter pants, but we are told not to judge. It's something I struggle with. Trying to build myself up because I'm the one wearing (in my mind) the modest clothes. It's not Christian-like and it's not my place to decide whether they are dressed to my standards of modesty.

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again. Matthew 7:1-2 (emphasis mine)

It's not my place to judge how others are dressed. For how I judge others, so shall I be judged on the same thing. 

 

So remember, dear sisters, modesty is a powerful thing. I believe there is a fine line between modest and unmodest and certain clothing is most definitely unmodest. How we dress is our choice, but we are to keep in mind our fellow Believers.

Keep it classy! (and modest!)

 

Classy, or Not-So-Classy?

 

Few visits to Walmart yield anything less than interesting (if not sad or disturbing) observances. I swear I could fill a library with stuff I've learned and observed while shopping at Walmart.

 

Last Sunday was no exception.

 

We went to church, and had lunch out afterwards. Mom and I had some things we needed to get at a particular clothing store so all seven of us trekked down there and 'quickly' stopped at Walmart(for about 3 hours) afterwards.

 

Few days have I seen such visible comparisons of classy versus non-classy.

 

Now, I know what I'm about to say deals with men, and dressing well on their end; and I don't know if there are any men/boys reading this, but in case there are y'all should know that modesty and class doesn't pertain to us women and girls alone.

Sure, women aren't nearly as visually-oriented as men, but we can still be tempted. But this isn't what I'm going to talk about today. 

Today, we're going to look at some stark visual comparisons of classy...and not-so-classy. (As I already stated above)

So. Where was I? Oh yes. We were just walking into a particular clothing store and we saw a couple exit just as we entered the place. First glance, I thought it was an elderly couple, by how they were dressed. And then I noticed something...the man, wasn't elderly in the least. In the brief seconds I saw him. I summed him up to be around my age. A.k.a., maybe late teens. Mom concurred on this since she also saw him herself.

Okay, I'll be honest with y'all.
Sometimes I forget there are teenage guys out there who actually dress with class and true style. This may sound arrogant or pious and I hope it doesn't come across that way to you. But around my part of the world, I see very few people(both men and women!) who dress with a sense of dignity and self-respect. It's a rarity...and the few I see who do dress with class, I appreciate greatly.

The guy at the clothing store was one of these examples. He didn't have low-rider, overly-baggy pants which he had to hike up every other second., and he wasn't wearing some  skin  tight muscle shirt/tank top, either.
He looked like a gentleman.

Why did I think he looked like an elderly man the first second I noticed him?  For the same reason people usually mistake me for a 20-something mom or college student.

How you dress can say a lot about you. And in today's culture, it can even depict your age. Doesn't that sound pretty ridiculous to you, clothing which gives away your age?

Well, it does to me. Especially considering how, for most of the earth's history, people have done the opposite of this.

In days past, as soon as girls reached a certain age, they dressed like their mothers.
 From people of the middle ages to the early Native Americans. Boys did the same thing. You didn't have all these sub-categories for clothing...kids, juniors, misses, women's, petites. You didn't have "old lady" clothing or "hip" teen garb. (However, there were/are some societies which did (and do) assign certain styles to womens' clothing depending on their age and marital status.)

I'm getting off-topic, aren't I? Sorry. Another topic to be saved for yet another day.

 I know that people can dress with perfect modesty and excellent taste and still have immodest, depraved hearts.
In fact, I've met several people who may have dressed completely fine and met all the modesty standards, but on the inside, they were rebellious and defiant toward their parents(if they were young people/teens/kids). Or, maybe they wanted to break free of the 'bondage' they assumed modesty to be, and go wear all the skimpy outfits their friends got to wear.

Each person's story is different. Sometimes, modesty concerning what you wear can become legalistic and a burden. Sometimes it can become an idol, even. I've seen it happen. Pride can develop in my heart sometimes if I let it. My flesh wants me to think about "how much better" I am than the other girls who show off their bodies and flaunt themselves. (whether intentionally or unintentionally)

But this sin is just as bad (if not worse) as the immodesty itself.  It is important that we always remember who we are. Saved by grace, and children of God. At the same time, we need to remember where we came from and not look down on the others around us. We were all created in the image of God!

Nonetheless, I'll stress again: How you dress shows the world a little piece of who you are.

The same day we saw the classy-dressed dude at the clothing store, we went to Walmart and saw completely the opposite of his example.

A guy wearing camo overalls with no shirt underneath. Practically 98% of all young women wearing tight, revealing shirts and bottoms. Guys with saggy britches falling down to their ankles and shirts 10 sizes too big for them.

Looking at the stuff some of the girls were wearing, I wondered how that kind of style could even be vaguely appealing for a girl to want to wear. Some styles I see people wearing, I like. But more and more these days this isn't the case. Even the color choices of shirts have become more and more just...just plain ol' tacky! Even if the shirt were modest, it was lacking any form of beauty or class. It was ugly.

I know everybody has their own tastes, and I'm totally fine with that. I know the "classy dude" could easily have been an atheist who wanted nothing to do with his Creator. He could've been somebody very flirtatious or immodest in his mannerisms, for all I know.

But, my point is this: In this culture, first impressions are everything. Most people you meet you will probably never see again. You can be seen dressed appropriately and with a sense of class and dignity, which will have a whole lot more impact on people than you may think, because it is becoming so rare among young people. You might be able to encourage a single person just by wearing something flattering and modest.

Class is dying out, yes. But it doesn't have to die out completely.

And most importantly, beyond just being 'classy' or having self-respect, even beyond dressing conscientiously of not being a stumbling block to the opposite gender...is this: We should dress for the glory of our Maker. Don't get caught up in self-righteousness or piety because of what you wear, but consider your appearance to be a testament to who you are and what you live for.

Let your person radiate with the Lord's love and joy, and you will possess true beauty. Learn to embrace self-lessness and cheerfulness and you will discover part of what being a virtuous woman is.

You will be truly classy.

I know this post rambled from topic to topic, but I needed to clarify some things as I went. I hope this post was encouraging to you and that you have a wonderful, blessed week!

 

Plaid Fun {ClassyGarb}

  Hello all! Sorry for taking so long to get this to you. It has been a very busy day here with cleaning. Today, since I wrote a more serious post last week, I decided to share one of my favorite outfits, and maybe give you guys some clothes ideas of your own.

  I love this outfit. I have a serious obsession with brown. Some people dislike the color, but I love it in clothing. And plaid is a great fabric as well. My brother didn't get as detailed a shot of the top as I would have liked, so bear with me. :) Also, adding a jacket to anything just makes the look so much better. This outfit would work just as well without the jacket- it has capped sleeves, and I add a brown shirt underneath, but I really love the jacket look.
 

Brown and plaid.

From the back.

Close up on the skirt- the bottom has pretty lace ruffles.

A close up on the boots (which I love) and the tights, which I like as well.

This outfit had so many great shades of brown and bluish green, that you could do many combinations. I also have a brown one exactly like this one without blue, which I also love.

   Dress - Jane Ashley, casual lifestyle. (I found it at my favorite clothing store- Hamrick's.)

   Jacket - Emma James. (Mom found it at Good Will. Don't you love thrift stores?)

   Boots - Easy Street. (Found them at Peebles.)

  

 You can find the tights at Wal-Mart, and a brown undershirt at a lot of places. :)

  

 I hope you enjoyed this post! What do you think plaid? And brown? 

  God bless!

 

Changing Paradigms

 What if you realize that the way that you think, and therefore act, is wrong? What if you realize that you are stuck in a rut, chained to a certain paradigm that is destroying yourself and those you come in contact with...but you can't seem to get out of that paradigm? What do you do?

I am far from an expert. In fact, I struggle myself to answer my own questions. That's why I'm writing this. I'd like to spark a discussion, share what I think and hear what you think in return.

If I realized that my paradigm was way off, and I have before to some extent, here are the steps that I would take to change my paradigm:

1. The first thing of course is to seek YHWH with your whole heart. Place it in His hands and trust Him to change your paradigm. Change your mind and God will change your heart.

2. You can't just sit back and say, "Ok, God, I'm ready for you to change me." You have to change your the way you think. Think about the actions and ways of thinking that are a result of your paradigm and as you're going along and catch yourself doing that or thinking that way...stop, realize what you're doing and decide to change your mind.

3. Along with step 2, get one or several people that you can be accountable to and who are not also stuck in the same paradigm (or if they are, make sure they know it and are also trying to break away) and ask them to let you know when they see you acting in accordance with that paradigm. You might not notice it yourself, but they will.

Have you ever had to consciously change your paradigm about something? How did you do it?

Inner Modesty

That sampler was made in 1910, when, if you were a maid, you were an unmarried female. Today, we only think of a maid as being a servant.

 

Now, back in 1910, everyone was modest compared to today's standards. They wore clothes that covered everything, leaving only the face showing. In this picture, it's talking about inner modesty. Inner modesty is about as important as outer modesty.

 

Inner is defined as “Situated inside or further in; internal.” My friend Bethany has already described modesty in many ways, and has narrowed it down to one word: Humbleness. So, putting those two words together, you get “Internal Humbleness”.

 

1 Peter 3:3-4 says:

"Do not let your adornment be merely outward

arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel,

rather let it be the hidden person of the heart,

with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,

which is very precious in the sight of God."

When you look in the mirror, do you think, “God has made me look beautiful today”? You should be thinking that every single day, because it's true. You are beautiful, and it's all thanks to our Father in heaven, Jesus Christ.

 

Are you beautiful inside, too? Do you try to live each day thinking of how beautiful you are because of God, instead of thinking of all your imperfections, or instead of just thinking of how beautiful you are, forgetting the reason for it? Do you ever lust?

 

God will show you all your sins, and help you to have true modesty. All you need is him.

 

1 Corinthians 6:20 -

 

"For ye are not your own, for ye were bought with a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."

 

Modesty: Setting Some Guidelines

Hey! I’m so excited to be posting on this blog. This is my first ever post on a blog like this so please be patient with me :P

 

So I want to talk about an easy way to get started with modesty by setting some guidelines. Though some of you may already have some rules as to what you can and can’t wear it doesn’t hurt to get a refresher. Before I get started I just want to quickly say that everyone has different rules or guidelines when it comes to modesty.

 

Maybe you constantly wonder: “I’ve always wanted to dress modestly but how can I dress modestly and still wear what is in style?”

 

Well, sorry to have to tell you this, but sometimes you can’t. Now don’t get me wrong. I for one LOVE the latest and newest trends in fashion but sometimes it just can’t happen. Modesty is really important. Like Bethany said in her post:

 “I've discovered that the reason most people dress without modesty is to draw attention to themselves. This is the opposite of being humble. In modesty, we are not trying to attract attention, because all attention should be given to the One who deserves it: God.”

 

So that really cute shirt you saw in the store yesterday that shows to much cleavage or that really nice skirt that shows off most of your legs is, most likely, not the best choice, but if you take your time and look around the store you can find other cute tops or skirts that are modest and still cute or what you are looking for. If that store carries clothes that aren’t appropriate then don’t go back to that store. I have had to do that before. It’s not fun because the clothes are SO cute but if they aren’t honoring to God then don’t go there anymore. Avoid the temptation altogether by not shopping there anymore as much as you want to.

 

Now I know this is not what you are expecting to hear me say next but… I shop at Value Village. You probably just fainted like most of the people I know but let me tell you Value Village is not an old people store. (Half of my wardrobe is Value Village or Hand me downs). Example. You know those jeans that were $100 dollars at the store yesterday? Yup. I found a $100 pair of jeans at Value Village for $20 (sadly they didn’t fit) so get together some outfit Ideas and make a stop there. But before you go shopping, whether it be Value Village or the Mall, let’s set out some guidelines (now we finally get to them :P ) to take with us when we go shopping for clothes that will make you happy because you got what you wanted and you also got a modest outfit. YAY!

1.       Bring someone shopping with you.

This AMAZING man is my daddy. When I go shopping I will take him with me or if I buy something while he is at work I will wait to take off the tags until he sees it and approves. I would highly suggest taking a family member, whose opinion you trust, shopping with you. Whether it is your mom, dad or grandparents. I take my dad with me or get his consent because he knows what’s appropriate or not and I listen to him. Maybe I really wanted that dress or skirt but I need to honor what my father says. Besides I don’t want to be drawing attention to myself (especially in the wrong ways) Do you?

2.       What is too short or too low?

Here are a few tests I keep in mind when I go shopping.

(These tests I am about to show you are from the book called ‘Secret Keeper Girl’ by Dannah Gresh that I went through years ago with my mom)

Test 1. How short is too short?

Get in front of a full length mirror. If you are in shorts, sit Indian style. If you are in a skirt sit in a chair with your legs crossed. Now, what do you see in the mirror? If you see underwear or lots of thigh your skirt or shorts are too short.

Please keep in mind that you just need to think about this when you go shopping. I am not telling you to go to the store and test this in front of those full length mirrors in the dressing room. I won’t go through ALL the test but I will give you 1 more.

Test 2. Is my shirt too low?

Lean forward a little bit. Can you see too much of your chest or even (with a shirt I had) when you bend over you could see my stomach the shirt was too loose? ( so watch for shirts that are to baggy or loose as well) If any of that happens your shirt is too low. Layering is a good solution just go buy a camisole and layer it up!

So those are a few things I keep in mind when shopping for clothes and only a few of my guidelines. I hope you enjoyed this post and it was helpful.

 

Being Different

Picture credit: Pinterest

Hiya! So, in advance, I’d like to warn you that I’m winging it for this blog post. I had no clue what anyone else was going to blog about this week, so I had to come up with this last minute. So forgive me for any randomness. 

Here’s a little story to start off.

The other day, I went to Ross’ clothing store. I love Ross. So many clothes for so cheap. And they’re brand new! What more can a girl with limited money ask for? Anyway, my mom wanted me to go because I hadn’t spent any of the money I had been given about a week ago, and she knew I wouldn’t spend it if I wasn’t dragged store to store, until something caught my writerly eye. 

Well, I can never say no to a trip to Ross, so I went. As soon as I stepped in, I looked around, trying to find anything worth wearing. Here’s one thing I’ve learned: Ross may be cheap, but they don’t have many clothes that I actually wear. 

I walked throughout the Junior’s section, praying there would be something there. Truthfully, the only clothes I can fit are Juniors. But the bad thing about that is there is nothing classy in the least about Juniors. 

I cringed as I held up clothes to examine further. Backless, sleeveless, nearly clothless . . . I learned another thing. 

There are a whole lot of “lesses” in the Junior’s department. 

I was thoroughly frustrated when I came to the end of the department. I was ready to find my mother and tell her there was nothing here for me right now. I’d have to wait until fall to come back, and then at least young girls wanted to cover their arms and stomachs up, lest they freeze to death. 

It wasn’t really the fact that they had nothing for me that upset me, though. It was that young girls didn’t have respect for themselves anymore. They were willing to look trashy and thrown away for . . . for what? A chance at “true love” with a fellow 12-year old that would last a week before being “heartbroken?” Is it just me, or is “true love” being found younger and younger these days?

My point is there is so little respect for a woman’s honor now. And what’s left of it is being torn to pieces by society. Young girls feel the need to dress as if someone stole half of their clothes because women on television do. 

You have to admit, a lot of girls must feel pressured to dress and act like women on television. After all, they see ads about clothing that shows as much skin as you can without being naked. Cheerleaders wear skirts and shorts that should be called “long underwear,” and everyone calls them “beautiful” and “graceful.” Modest clothing is swiftly becoming extinct. Society is banishing it quickly. But, really, who is society to tell me what I need to wear? Who is society to tell me that knees that don’t show off my thighs is “old-fashion?” Do they control me? No.

Here’s what I’m saying. Don’t conform. Don’t let society tell you who you have to be. Be yourself. Step beyond the boundaries that society tries to place around you and say, “I will be different!” God will bless you for it.

Oh, and in case you’re wondering, I did buy an adorable skirt and a black undershirt from Ross’.  *grin*

Again, I’m sorry for any rambling I may have done. Have a terrific week, and God bless you!