Yes, I Actually Love My Body

Think you're fat? Don't like how short you are? Don't like your not-so-chiseled stomach? Think you're too skinny and wish you had more curves? Wish your hair were straight instead of curly, or vice-versa? Unhappy with the fact that you don't have a thigh-gap?

Is it just me, or does it seem like everybody hates something about themselves? Nearly every woman or girl is dissatisfied with her physical appearance in some way or another. Even if it's a little detail that most people wouldn't even notice. WE ourselves notice. Oh, yes we do. And then we obsess over it until self-hatred even occurs.

 

For crying out loud, isn't about time we dumped the whole mess?

 

Self-hatred is so contagious.

 

In the media, we see it non-stop. All these articles on how to supposedly improve our physique, look hotter and get more attention from the dudes. Why? Because apparently we aren't amazing enough already? Apparently so, or articles like that wouldn't exist.

 

Does this bother you at all? It should. It certainly does, with me. There are many reasons why I'm irked by the self-hatred society has encouraged women to have toward their bodies, but I'm only going to give one for now.

 

Psalm 139:14 - "I will praise Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knoweth right well."

 

Did you see that? Fearfully and wonderfully made. Not ugly, worthless, or trash. Not even a fixer-upper, or a 'needs improvement.' Do you see where it says any of these things? Me neither.

 

Bath & Body Works! A favorite!

We are created in God's own Image. How could that make us anything less than beautiful?

 Contrary to a lot of what I hear being said these days, I actually love my body. Yep, that's right. I love every inch of me. Wouldn't trade this skin for any other.

 

*GASP* She actually...is satisfied with her appearance! Is.....is that a crime? A sin? Pride? Self-conceited?

 

No, it's not a crime, and it's certainly not a sin. You can call it pride or self-conceit, but I call it gratitude and contentment.

 

For a while, as an early teen, this was hard for me to grasp. I was pretty dissatisfied with parts of my body, to be honest. When I was 12, I even thought I was fat. (I wasn't.)

I was ungrateful. I was missing the unique beauty that God had given me, and mistaking it for something less than beauty.

 

But that changed as I matured and learned more about God's plan for my life.

 

See, I realize how Christ made me to be the person I am, and not someone else. If I weren't supposed to be Leah Oxendine, I wouldn't be Leah Oxendine. He knew what He was doing when He put me on this planet. I've learned to see myself and all my flaws and appreciate everything because it's what makes me me.

 

My body is His temple. Ultimately it's only a borrowed vessel. Dare I insult my Creator by calling it ugly?

 

I love my long, soft auburn hair.

I love my turquoise-blue eyes. 

I love my long fingers.

I love my hourglass shape. (Yes, it's curvy! And yes, I'm proud of that! Another shocker? I'm getting  sick of 'curvy' being used as a plus-size only term. You don't have to be plus-sized to be naturally curvy. And naturally curvy doesn't equal plus-size.)

I love that I'm fairly muscular.

I love that I'm not skinny.

I love that I'm not fat. 

I love that I'm the weight that's normal for my body type.

 I don't wish I was anything other than what I am.

I don't think I'm fat.

I don't think I've ever been fat.

I love that I'm taller than most.

And I love that I had scoliosis, because that kept me from being too much taller than my boyfriend. (haha!)

 

Newly arranged jewelry/dressing corner.

Kinda mindblown? Not used to seeing something where the girl wasn't complaining about her appearance?

Me either. That's exactly why I decided this post needed to be written. It's about time that positive things were written about one's self-image. It's about time somebody stepped out of the mire of self-hate, and learned to live in gratitude. It's about time a girl looked in the mirror at herself and smiled because she genuinely liked what she saw. It's about time a woman saw herself in a photo and thanked her Maker for crafting her the way He did.

 

Do you have a hard time finding things to love about yourself?

 

It's about time that changed.

 

It's about time we stop hating ourselves and learn to appreciate the bodies we 've been given.

 

One simple way to do this is to stop listening to the propaganda and lies of the modern media and society. Stop caring what the pop culture 'beauty experts' are saying.  Stop looking at billboard models and thinking to yourself how you don't measure up. Stop comparing yourself to friends or celebrities. Stop looking down at the scale and being disgusted with your weight. 

 

What else can you do? Start digging into God's Word about what the definition of beauty truly is.

Start working on keeping your temple strong and healthy by feeding it real food (raw and unprocessed is always best!) and not convenience junk. Exercise at least several times a week to keep your blood circulating and your body functioning at its best. Try toning workouts to get everything firm and solid. Get outside and enjoy the great outdoors - the fresh air will clear your mind! Start surrendering your thoughts to Jesus and go to Him in prayer about your issues and struggles. Start serving others more and engaging in ministry, to get your mind off self-centeredness.

Start looking yourself in the mirror every day and thinking how gorgeous you are. Start finding things to appreciate about your appearance, even if they're small things to start out with.

 

Sparkly heels from Payless which I saw and decided were worth buying!

 Are you willing to join me in this quest to abolish self-hate? Do you have a blog of your own? If so, I invite you to write a post of your own, on what you love about yourself and why. Please comment below with the link when you're done, so I can check it out! APOC may even feature it in the future.

 

Loving your body could be a major paradigm shift, if you've always lived in frustration or dissatisfaction with yourself. It may be very hard in the beginning. You might wonder if it will ever be possible.

But don't give up. With God, all things are possible. And in this case, I know He will bless you for your efforts. Why?

 

 Because He always blesses a grateful heart.

 

Blessings,

More on Modesty

 More and more often I see a problem with Christian young people (and older folks too!)  I've probably already posted on this before, but with some recent things that have affected me personally, I see the need to talk about it again.
 Sometimes it seems there are two groups of Christians. There are those who dress very conservatively, and those who dress less so. For clarity I'm going to use the term "modest" for one group, and "not-so-modest" for the other, meaning nothing in particular, but to keep my thoughts straight.

These two groups are constantly in a silent, (and sometimes less than silent) battle.
 Of course, I know there can be exceptions. Some girls may not take "modesty" to the extent of the more conservative people, and vice versa.

 And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. Modesty cannot be defined by any one person or opinion. If we base modesty on opinion alone, then we are drifting into our own mindset, our own decisions, and that is not where we need to be.

 The two groups of modest, and not-so-modest people both have a problem.

 The modest look at the not-so-modest, and immediately seem to judge. "Look at them! They aren't representing Christ very well. We're sooo much more holy then them. They're liberal. They really need to pray about that." (Of course, these may not be the precise words used.)

 The not-so-modest may look at the modest and... "They think they're so holy. I'm tired of all their  'holier then thou' looks they keep sending over here. They're trying to dress like that just to make themselves seem better then us."

 Etc. Etc. Etc.

 It goes on and on. I'm telling you. Sometimes neither of these groups seem to understand the one simple little fact that should change their whole viewpoint on everything.

 Yes, modestly is so, so important. But opinions on modesty can be different. It is not our job to dictate modesty to another person. That is one of the things that falls to God. And God may use an older woman to explain some things to others.

 But maybe you're a not-so-modest person. Maybe you wear jeans instead of skirts, and think you aren't being treated right for it. Maybe you aren't sure if you should change how you dress. I'm not saying being not-so-modest in this sense is wrong. Because here's another important thing. God will show you the answer. 

 Strange as it may seem, modesty isn't always the same for each individual person. Modesty is something that must be cleansed in the heart before it can make it's way to the outward appearance. Because if a person's heart isn't modest, even if they dress with every inch of their body covered, their immodesty will eventually show. 

. I'm not saying if you feel like it's okay to go running around town with nothing on.  God always wants us to have a certain standard of modesty. To understand God's standard we need to be in constant prayer, asking Him to show us His plan. God knows what is in our heart. And if we wear those cute jeans just because they outline our shape juuuusssttt right... there's a good chance God will convict us about that. I've heard the story many times.

 No, I am not the expert on modesty, and I never will be. I'm learning along with everyone else. But I know that this issue is one that God's people must work out before we can be unified.

 The modest people need to see... maybe God hasn't spoken to those not-so-modest people yet. Or maybe He doesn't have the same expectation as he has for them. 

 The not-so-modest people need to know that the modest people have a personal conviction, and this desire to serve the Lord is why they dress the way they do. Or at least it should be.

 Instead of constantly judging those around us, making the gap grow wider between our brothers and sisters in Christ, we need to pray for others, and desire God's will. Because in God's plan, all will be revealed.

 If we trust God, He will show us the way. 

 God bless!

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

Hello everyone, let me first say how excited I am to be writing for A Pinch of Classy.  I’m Sierra Kay (or just Sierra if you wish) and I am the seventeen-year-old homeschooled daughter of a pastor, eldest of three girls, an avid reader of classics, aspiring author, amateur musician, and an addicted horseback rider. Well, that just about sums me up in one long run on sentence. 

                                           

Since this is my first post I want to go ahead and talk about modesty. I don’t want to talk about what modesty is, but instead why we find modesty to be so important. Just what is this ‘why’ about?  That’s exactly what I’m going to tell you.    

   With each new generation modesty seems to become even more and more rare.  I've even found that the older I get the more people question my choices of dress, friends, and actions. They always seem to be asking me why. 

“Why, do you dress like that?”…”do your parents make you?”…”why don’t you act like other teens?”…”are you some kind of religious nut?”…and on it goes. You’ve all been there right? If not, one day you probably will be.  

See, in our day and age modestly sticks out among the low cut shirts, short dresses, and sagging pants. People seem to take notice of the girls who wear tasteful clothing. Clothing that doesn't seem to show every inch of their body as possible. They take notice of the clean cut boys who understand what a belt was originally designed for. Our actions are often compared to the majority of teens in America who party and spend their time involved in endless high school drama. Now, some of people will look at these young adults who aren't conforming to the world and think ‘these are respectful, conservative, trust worth kids’ whereas others will look and say ‘how old fashioned and backwards!’  

  Now you might be asking where this is all going. What does this have to do with the ‘why’? 

You see, because of the fact that modesty in dress, actions, and words have become so rare in America they’re noticed more than immodesty.  Sad isn't it? However, this can be used as a way to reach people. Others are curious about why we don’t just go with the flow.  This is the reason we should ask ourselves why. Is it only because its what our parents say is right? This isn't a bad thing of course.  I’m thankful every day that my parents have set high standards for me in all aspects of life.  Is modesty only important because your pastor, religion, or Christianity says so? Once again this isn't a bad thing. Christians should challenge others to me modest.  But should either of these be your foundation for modesty?  If you think the answer is no then good thinking!

Your ‘why’ should be that you are a beloved daughter or son of the King of Kings! Jesus Christ died and shed his blood on the cross for our sins.  So shouldn't we strive to honor and glorify Him in everything that we do? 

In John 14:15 it says, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” 

Isn't modesty a commandment? 

“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array” –I Timothy 2:9 

“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.” –I Corinthians 6: 19-20 

“Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;  But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” – I Peter 3: 3-4 

These are all verses which talk about Jesus Christ being your ‘why’.  As daughters of the King we are supposed to be a mirror image.  In Christ Jesus we are made a new man.  So should you only be modest to please others or to praise the God who has fearfully and wonderfully made you? Ask yourself these questions and answer them honestly. That way the next time someone asks you the ‘why’ question you will have an answer that will show them the awesome power of Jesus.
 

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”  - Psalms 139:14

 

A Story of True Beauty

Sherry went to high school during the ‘70s in Artesia, New Mexico. She wasn’t an overly pretty girl. She wasn’t ugly; she just didn’t fit the world’s idea of beautiful. She had freckles, a round face, and while Sherry wasn’t fat, she was big boned. She had a stocky, more masculine looking figure. Over all, Sherry was just kind of plain and ordinary.

You might say, “Well, she must not have been very popular!” But this was hardly the case. You see Sherry may not have been the prettiest girl on the block, but she was vivacious! She was fun! The guys like her; the girls liked her. She had her share of dates though high school. The reason was as simple as brownies and ice cream! Sherry chose to be beautiful on the inside. She kept herself clean and neat, but she didn’t make her outward appearance her main focus. She didn’t spend hours in front of the mirror trying to find just the right outfit to make her look slender; she didn’t hide her freckles under layers of foundation, or spend all her allowance on hair products. She simply decided she was going to be happy with the way Yahweh had made her, and see that she was as pretty as she could be on the inside.

Sherry had a classmate named Vicki. Vicki was a cheerleader. She had a clear complexion, beautiful blond hair, and a super model figure. She had everything: guys, friends, attention; you name it, she had it. Don’t think that because of this Vicki was a snob, she wasn’t. She was a nice girl, people liked to be around her, but her beauty was earthly. She didn’t realize that she needed more than just good looks to get through life. She didn’t know that her own choices would decide if she was popular or not, regardless of whether she looked flawless or if she was fat and had pimples on her face.

Let’s fast forward a few years. My dad, the person who told me this story had gone away to college, met and married another beautiful woman and later moved back to Artesia. One day he walked into a laundromat to see a young woman, grown old before her time doing laundry for several small children. Her name was Vicki. He remarked to me that this woman who had once been one of, if not the prettiest and most popular girl in school was now simply ugly.

Vicki had loved a good looking, popular football player who also seemed to have everything. Not long into their marriage she found that not only was he lazy and irresponsible, but he was violent and dangerous. Finally he had left her for another woman and she was now trying to provide for her 3 young children alone. She had chosen to focus on outward beauty instead of cultivating inward beauty and growing in wisdom. Her choices continue to effect her today.

Later he was shopping in another store when a gorgeous brunette walked in the door! It seemed like the whole place lit up the moment she entered! Sherry had grown more and more beautiful as she got older because she made the right choice.

After chatting with her, my dad found that she also had married. Her husband was not as popular as Vicki’s; he was an ordinary, hardworking, farmer’s son. My Dad had never met this man, but he could plainly see that Sherry was happily married to someone who must have been, and still is a wonderful man!

 

This is a true story and one that happens all the time. May we be like Sherry and seek the true beauty that comes from serving Yeshua!

"Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price."-1 Peter 3:3-4

 

 

What Do Your Eyes Say About You?

 

In the last several weeks, numerous young ladies here at APOC have discussed what true, inner modesty and beauty is, and how it can manifest on the outside.

 

And, following that line of thought, I have a question for you. What is the first thing you notice when you look at another person? When you're talking to someone else, where do your eyes naturally drift to?

 

The eyes have been called the window to the soul, and rightly so.

And they're what we're going to talk about today.

 

The human eyes.

 

Eyes are one of the main body parts mentioned in Scripture. Eyes are our window to the world around us, and how we visualize reality. Without our eyes, we wouldn't be able to enjoy the myriad of beauty of our world...from the bright greens and blues found in forests and the sky above us, to the vivid yellows and reds found in the insect and animal realm.

Our eyes let us partake in an incredible visual experience daily. They truly are an amazing blessing given to us by Jehovah God. Personally, I try to thank Him for the gift of sight each day.

 

Have you ever heard the saying which says that sometimes you don't have to say anything, you can just communicate with your eyes alone?

 

 

 

 

 

It's so true that it doesn't even need to be said to be recognised. We all communicate immensely with our eyes, whether consciously or unconsciously. We might give nasty looks when somebody says something we don't like. We might narrow our eyes skeptically, or open them wide in surprise.

 

Flirting is usually done mainly with the eyes.

 

Joy can practically radiate from the eyes; just as sadness, pain or discouragement can be manifested through a downcast look, without any effort.

 

 

How does one lust? With their eyes. (Matthew 5:28)

 

So, as you can see, the eyes are vital in displaying many of the uncountable human emotions we feel each day. We use our eyes to judge and discern. And like anything else, we can use them either for good, or for evil.

 

 

 

That brings me to how the eyes connect with modesty and glorifying God.

 

A girl/guy could be dressed totally modest and appropriately, but have immodest eyes.

 

What do I mean by "immodest eyes", you might be wondering?

 

It doesn't have anything to do with excessive make-up, although, that can play a part in the topic.

 

Ultimately, it has everything to do with your heart, and your mind. You, on the inside. If you have a cheerful, joyous spirit, it will come through in your eyes. If you are angry or discontented, it will seep through into your eyes. It will become visible through them, unless you attempt to hide it.

 

If you are trying to grab the attention of the opposite gender, it will show in your eyes. This doesn't apply merely to girls and women. Guys can flirt/be immodest with their eyes just as easily.

 

In Scripture, immoral women have been described as having flattering lips, smooth words and alluring eyes/eyelids. 

 

Proverbs 6:25 "Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids."

 

 

This verse is a prime example. We don't see anything in Proverbs or any other Biblical book for that matter which describes a man committing sin with a woman because of her other body parts. It is always described as having to do with the face. The eyes, and mouth in particular. Obviously people can and do have lust problems with the other body parts, but I find it interesting how God doesn't focus on that. He instead points out the danger of a woman who allures with her eyes.

 

Look at a lot of photos in secular magazines. Most of the models have a seductive look, just in their eyes alone. You wouldn't even need to see the rest of their bodies to know that they are trying to be "sexy" and sensual. Now, cosmetics do have a lot to do with this. Most ladies throw on WAY too much eye make up, not only making them look more seductive but also detracting from their natural beauty.

 

I personally really like using my natural mineral eye shadows from Madison Street Beauty.  I don't wear them very often, usually for something more formal like my dad's conferences or church events. I always am careful to not overdo it., and the one time that I did, thankfully my mom helped me become aware of the fact. Make-up is totally okay in my opinion as long as it's used in moderation. And, as long as you don't start relying on it like a crutch...or start feeling naked without it. Then you're getting into ungratefulness with how God made you!

 

 

I am regretful to say this, but I have been inappropriate with my eyes before. And I wasn't wearing make-up, either. I have used my eyes to get attention from guys, in the past. I am not happy to tell y'all that it worked.

 

Girls, don't underestimate the power of your eyes!

 

You can tell so much about yourself just through them. Your eyes can radiate with cheerfulness and you can shine like the sun, reflecting the Son. You can let them drip with a sultry unthankfulness, or burn with a frustrated, angry spirit. Or, you can use them to tempt the opposite gender, pulling the attention away from God and to yourself.

 

It's your choice.

 

What do your eyes say about you?

 

 

What Is "Lady-Like"?

 

 Checking APOC mail in my inbox, I found a note from a young lady requesting help on knowing what "becoming a lady"is.  Here is what she said:

 

 

Dear A Pinch Of Classy,
After about a year of struggling with it and living on the border, I've decided it's time for me to become a lady. What do you suppose that entails? I've worn skirts for a long time, and my casual is the same as my Sunday clothes, so my dress style I don't think needs to change. For me, it has so far meant running up stairs one step at a time as opposed to two, and not wrestling with my brothers (though I still race them). I think I'm missing something, though. If you would please pray about it and post a reply, I'd be most appreciative. I'll pray about it too.
Sincerely, A New-found Lady  

 

 

Well, New-Found Lady, first of all, that is an excellent question!  I am glad to hear you want to become a lady and want to know how to carry yourself like one.

 

For centuries women have strived to be "lady-like".  Only until the last 50 years in particular has this striving deteriorated greatly from society. 

 

Whenever I hear the term lady-like, I tend to automatically associate it with being classy, and possessing a sense of modesty. I think these three go hand in hand with each other perfectly.

 

So what does it mean to be a "lady?" What does it mean to be "lady-like?"

 

The 1828 Webster's dictionary describes the word lady in this manner.

 

LA'DY, n. "A woman of distinction. Originally, the title of lady was given to the daughters of earls and others in higher rank, but by custom, the title belongs to any woman of genteel education."

 

LA'DY-LIKE, a. "Like a lady in manners; genteel; well-bred."

 

What does genteel mean? From the same 1828 Webster's dictionary:

 

GENTEE'L, a. 1. "Polite; well-bred; easy and graceful in manners or behavior..." 2., "Graceful in mein or form; elegant..." 3. "Decorous; refined; free from anything low or vulgar..."

 

I think genteel sums up "lady-like" pretty well.  A true lady is in essence, a true woman. Feminine, graceful, never given to partaking in anything crass, crude or vulgar.  Refined. Thoughtful of others.

 

You asked how one can become a lady, and what this entails.

 

I am speaking from my own personal opinion when I say that being lady-like is far more than just carrying yourself like a queen and never laughing at rude jokes.

 

You said that you have worn skirts for a long time and don't think your outfit choices are what need changing.

Quite honestly, I personally do not believe skirts automatically define you as a lady. I have seen young women who wear long skirts and act like childish little girls instead of true ladies. I have been one of those young women, myself. 

 

 If you would like to become a lady than you need not focus overly on your clothes because that is not the core of what being a lady is. Yes, your choice of apparel has everything to do with the topic, but it is not what is most important.

And for the record, I think pants (as long as they are modest) are totally fine and that you can still be a lady in pants. (Even though I have always felt classier and more lady-like in skirts and dresses, personally.)

 

 You also said that "For me, it has so far meant running up stairs one step at a time as opposed to two, and not wrestling with my brothers (though I still race them)."

 

As a sister to 4 younger brothers, I can completely relate with you here. *smiles* In fact, a couple months ago even I wrestled with the eldest one who is 13. I used to wrestle and fight him pretty frequently, but now I have generally stopped wrestling with Will because, obviously, it isn't very appropriate given the ages we are both at currently, with him going through puberty, especially.
However, we still box sometimes and chase each other around the house doing poke wars.

I don't think that being lady-like means you can't ever do anything physical. Actually I greatly detest that line of thinking because...well, honestly, it's no fun! If you are still in your childhood/teen hood/in a situation where you can still run around with your siblings, than I would highly suggest you take advantage of it while it's still there. It is a gift, and as you grow up, it will eventually be gone.

Now, when I jump on the trampoline with my brothers, I make sure that I wear something adequate. Pants and a shirt which don't fly up revealingly, or a skirt with something underneath it. When I run, I follow the same rule. (You can get other ideas for what to wear while doing these kind of activities here)

So, in conclusion to whether or not you should run two steps at a time down the stairs or wrestle with your brothers, and how this affects your being a lady; I would say that depending on you and your brothers' ages, the wrestling probably isn't very lady-like. If you are in your early teens, or your brothers are much younger than you, than it might be alright. (Depending on what you wear and how rough you get!) But if you are like me, a 17 year old girl, and your brother is like mine, entering puberty, I would advise against it.

The stairs-issue? I'll admit that I still do the double-step thing sometimes. ;) Once again it totally depends on where you are and who you're with, as well as what you're wearing.

Being a lady can range from how you sit on the couch to how you walk, and how you carry a conversation. It really goes hand in hand, as I said earlier, with being modest and classy.

Want to act like a lady? Never do anything you wouldn't think is appropriate or becoming for someone your age and gender. Hold your head highly but don't look down your nose at people.
Stand up straight, and don't slouch. I have been told that I looked regal when I did this. (Even though obviously I don't do things just to be told I looked 'regal'!)

Ladies speak with purpose and clarity.

Ladies think of others before themselves, and strive to be selfless and generous with their time, possessions and abilities.

These are just a few things which I believe come with being a lady. As I said, it is a very subjective matter. While there are certain absolutes, e.g., ladies never flirt or wear clothing which flaunts their bodies, ssometimes, what might be good for one person is totally wrong for another, and vice versa.

My mother is a true lady. I have learned so much from her, and I'm sure you can probably do the same with your own mother or even grandmother. Look around you for examples of being truly-ladylike.


If you have any other questions, don't hesitate to ask! I hope this helped you and was encouraging to you. I would definitely suggest to continue praying about it.

I pray constantly that God would help me to flourish into a Godly, on-fire-for-Him woman. A real woman. I think this is a very important thing to strive for, even far above being "lady-like", because lady-like is more of a surface issue and being a Godly woman is more internal, a matter of the heart.


Hope you're having a blessed day!

What Does the Bible Say About Modesty?

Source

 

 

 

Modesty. That word alone is enough to turn most conversations sour. It's a subject that's difficult to discuss. Why? There are so many different views on it. So many different thoughts about what (especially clothing) is modest and what isn't.

mod-es-ty---Regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.

(from dictionary.com)

What exactly is modest? What isn't? Unfortunately, the Bible doesn't make it completely clear to us what is modest or what isn't. Should we be wearing floor length skirts all the time or are pants just fine? We are given no clear answer.

The Bible does give us some guidelines, of sorts, to use when we consider modesty.

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel...I Timothy 2:9

We are told to consider modesty when dressing ourselves. It is not an option. I've found that if an article of clothing makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, whether it be too low or too tight. It probably isn't the best thing to wear when considering modesty.

Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brother's way. Romans 14:13

This verse brings two more things to consider when thinking about modesty. We are not to be a stumbling block to our fellow Believers. This is especially important when considering our dress around men. Are we wearing this to create attention for ourselves? To make ourselves noticed? I'm not saying to go out in a feed sack or clothes with no shape, but going out in that shirt that's a tad bit too tight or that skirt that's a little higher than you feel comfortable in probably isn't the best.

But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to them that are weak. I Corinthians 8:9

This verse isn't necessarily for modesty, but I think it can be applied. Our liberty is to dress anyway we would like, but again we are told not to be a stumbling block to fellow Believers. We are to behave/dress in a way that does not cause others to sin.

One of the most common things I hear is, 'Well, it's their (meaning, men) sin. They're the ones looking.' Yes, but if we are dressing to draw attention to ourselves then we are helping them to sin. In helping our fellow brothers, we should dress to help them not to sin.

The second part of Romans 14:13 I would like to point out is let us not therefore judge one another any more. We can judge the other girl for not dressing like us. For wearing the slightly tighter shirt, the slightly tighter pants, but we are told not to judge. It's something I struggle with. Trying to build myself up because I'm the one wearing (in my mind) the modest clothes. It's not Christian-like and it's not my place to decide whether they are dressed to my standards of modesty.

Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again. Matthew 7:1-2 (emphasis mine)

It's not my place to judge how others are dressed. For how I judge others, so shall I be judged on the same thing. 

 

So remember, dear sisters, modesty is a powerful thing. I believe there is a fine line between modest and unmodest and certain clothing is most definitely unmodest. How we dress is our choice, but we are to keep in mind our fellow Believers.

Keep it classy! (and modest!)

 

Classy, or Not-So-Classy?

 

Few visits to Walmart yield anything less than interesting (if not sad or disturbing) observances. I swear I could fill a library with stuff I've learned and observed while shopping at Walmart.

 

Last Sunday was no exception.

 

We went to church, and had lunch out afterwards. Mom and I had some things we needed to get at a particular clothing store so all seven of us trekked down there and 'quickly' stopped at Walmart(for about 3 hours) afterwards.

 

Few days have I seen such visible comparisons of classy versus non-classy.

 

Now, I know what I'm about to say deals with men, and dressing well on their end; and I don't know if there are any men/boys reading this, but in case there are y'all should know that modesty and class doesn't pertain to us women and girls alone.

Sure, women aren't nearly as visually-oriented as men, but we can still be tempted. But this isn't what I'm going to talk about today. 

Today, we're going to look at some stark visual comparisons of classy...and not-so-classy. (As I already stated above)

So. Where was I? Oh yes. We were just walking into a particular clothing store and we saw a couple exit just as we entered the place. First glance, I thought it was an elderly couple, by how they were dressed. And then I noticed something...the man, wasn't elderly in the least. In the brief seconds I saw him. I summed him up to be around my age. A.k.a., maybe late teens. Mom concurred on this since she also saw him herself.

Okay, I'll be honest with y'all.
Sometimes I forget there are teenage guys out there who actually dress with class and true style. This may sound arrogant or pious and I hope it doesn't come across that way to you. But around my part of the world, I see very few people(both men and women!) who dress with a sense of dignity and self-respect. It's a rarity...and the few I see who do dress with class, I appreciate greatly.

The guy at the clothing store was one of these examples. He didn't have low-rider, overly-baggy pants which he had to hike up every other second., and he wasn't wearing some  skin  tight muscle shirt/tank top, either.
He looked like a gentleman.

Why did I think he looked like an elderly man the first second I noticed him?  For the same reason people usually mistake me for a 20-something mom or college student.

How you dress can say a lot about you. And in today's culture, it can even depict your age. Doesn't that sound pretty ridiculous to you, clothing which gives away your age?

Well, it does to me. Especially considering how, for most of the earth's history, people have done the opposite of this.

In days past, as soon as girls reached a certain age, they dressed like their mothers.
 From people of the middle ages to the early Native Americans. Boys did the same thing. You didn't have all these sub-categories for clothing...kids, juniors, misses, women's, petites. You didn't have "old lady" clothing or "hip" teen garb. (However, there were/are some societies which did (and do) assign certain styles to womens' clothing depending on their age and marital status.)

I'm getting off-topic, aren't I? Sorry. Another topic to be saved for yet another day.

 I know that people can dress with perfect modesty and excellent taste and still have immodest, depraved hearts.
In fact, I've met several people who may have dressed completely fine and met all the modesty standards, but on the inside, they were rebellious and defiant toward their parents(if they were young people/teens/kids). Or, maybe they wanted to break free of the 'bondage' they assumed modesty to be, and go wear all the skimpy outfits their friends got to wear.

Each person's story is different. Sometimes, modesty concerning what you wear can become legalistic and a burden. Sometimes it can become an idol, even. I've seen it happen. Pride can develop in my heart sometimes if I let it. My flesh wants me to think about "how much better" I am than the other girls who show off their bodies and flaunt themselves. (whether intentionally or unintentionally)

But this sin is just as bad (if not worse) as the immodesty itself.  It is important that we always remember who we are. Saved by grace, and children of God. At the same time, we need to remember where we came from and not look down on the others around us. We were all created in the image of God!

Nonetheless, I'll stress again: How you dress shows the world a little piece of who you are.

The same day we saw the classy-dressed dude at the clothing store, we went to Walmart and saw completely the opposite of his example.

A guy wearing camo overalls with no shirt underneath. Practically 98% of all young women wearing tight, revealing shirts and bottoms. Guys with saggy britches falling down to their ankles and shirts 10 sizes too big for them.

Looking at the stuff some of the girls were wearing, I wondered how that kind of style could even be vaguely appealing for a girl to want to wear. Some styles I see people wearing, I like. But more and more these days this isn't the case. Even the color choices of shirts have become more and more just...just plain ol' tacky! Even if the shirt were modest, it was lacking any form of beauty or class. It was ugly.

I know everybody has their own tastes, and I'm totally fine with that. I know the "classy dude" could easily have been an atheist who wanted nothing to do with his Creator. He could've been somebody very flirtatious or immodest in his mannerisms, for all I know.

But, my point is this: In this culture, first impressions are everything. Most people you meet you will probably never see again. You can be seen dressed appropriately and with a sense of class and dignity, which will have a whole lot more impact on people than you may think, because it is becoming so rare among young people. You might be able to encourage a single person just by wearing something flattering and modest.

Class is dying out, yes. But it doesn't have to die out completely.

And most importantly, beyond just being 'classy' or having self-respect, even beyond dressing conscientiously of not being a stumbling block to the opposite gender...is this: We should dress for the glory of our Maker. Don't get caught up in self-righteousness or piety because of what you wear, but consider your appearance to be a testament to who you are and what you live for.

Let your person radiate with the Lord's love and joy, and you will possess true beauty. Learn to embrace self-lessness and cheerfulness and you will discover part of what being a virtuous woman is.

You will be truly classy.

I know this post rambled from topic to topic, but I needed to clarify some things as I went. I hope this post was encouraging to you and that you have a wonderful, blessed week!

 

Inner Modesty

That sampler was made in 1910, when, if you were a maid, you were an unmarried female. Today, we only think of a maid as being a servant.

 

Now, back in 1910, everyone was modest compared to today's standards. They wore clothes that covered everything, leaving only the face showing. In this picture, it's talking about inner modesty. Inner modesty is about as important as outer modesty.

 

Inner is defined as “Situated inside or further in; internal.” My friend Bethany has already described modesty in many ways, and has narrowed it down to one word: Humbleness. So, putting those two words together, you get “Internal Humbleness”.

 

1 Peter 3:3-4 says:

"Do not let your adornment be merely outward

arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel,

rather let it be the hidden person of the heart,

with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,

which is very precious in the sight of God."

When you look in the mirror, do you think, “God has made me look beautiful today”? You should be thinking that every single day, because it's true. You are beautiful, and it's all thanks to our Father in heaven, Jesus Christ.

 

Are you beautiful inside, too? Do you try to live each day thinking of how beautiful you are because of God, instead of thinking of all your imperfections, or instead of just thinking of how beautiful you are, forgetting the reason for it? Do you ever lust?

 

God will show you all your sins, and help you to have true modesty. All you need is him.

 

1 Corinthians 6:20 -

 

"For ye are not your own, for ye were bought with a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."

 

Modesty: Setting Some Guidelines

Hey! I’m so excited to be posting on this blog. This is my first ever post on a blog like this so please be patient with me :P

 

So I want to talk about an easy way to get started with modesty by setting some guidelines. Though some of you may already have some rules as to what you can and can’t wear it doesn’t hurt to get a refresher. Before I get started I just want to quickly say that everyone has different rules or guidelines when it comes to modesty.

 

Maybe you constantly wonder: “I’ve always wanted to dress modestly but how can I dress modestly and still wear what is in style?”

 

Well, sorry to have to tell you this, but sometimes you can’t. Now don’t get me wrong. I for one LOVE the latest and newest trends in fashion but sometimes it just can’t happen. Modesty is really important. Like Bethany said in her post:

 “I've discovered that the reason most people dress without modesty is to draw attention to themselves. This is the opposite of being humble. In modesty, we are not trying to attract attention, because all attention should be given to the One who deserves it: God.”

 

So that really cute shirt you saw in the store yesterday that shows to much cleavage or that really nice skirt that shows off most of your legs is, most likely, not the best choice, but if you take your time and look around the store you can find other cute tops or skirts that are modest and still cute or what you are looking for. If that store carries clothes that aren’t appropriate then don’t go back to that store. I have had to do that before. It’s not fun because the clothes are SO cute but if they aren’t honoring to God then don’t go there anymore. Avoid the temptation altogether by not shopping there anymore as much as you want to.

 

Now I know this is not what you are expecting to hear me say next but… I shop at Value Village. You probably just fainted like most of the people I know but let me tell you Value Village is not an old people store. (Half of my wardrobe is Value Village or Hand me downs). Example. You know those jeans that were $100 dollars at the store yesterday? Yup. I found a $100 pair of jeans at Value Village for $20 (sadly they didn’t fit) so get together some outfit Ideas and make a stop there. But before you go shopping, whether it be Value Village or the Mall, let’s set out some guidelines (now we finally get to them :P ) to take with us when we go shopping for clothes that will make you happy because you got what you wanted and you also got a modest outfit. YAY!

1.       Bring someone shopping with you.

This AMAZING man is my daddy. When I go shopping I will take him with me or if I buy something while he is at work I will wait to take off the tags until he sees it and approves. I would highly suggest taking a family member, whose opinion you trust, shopping with you. Whether it is your mom, dad or grandparents. I take my dad with me or get his consent because he knows what’s appropriate or not and I listen to him. Maybe I really wanted that dress or skirt but I need to honor what my father says. Besides I don’t want to be drawing attention to myself (especially in the wrong ways) Do you?

2.       What is too short or too low?

Here are a few tests I keep in mind when I go shopping.

(These tests I am about to show you are from the book called ‘Secret Keeper Girl’ by Dannah Gresh that I went through years ago with my mom)

Test 1. How short is too short?

Get in front of a full length mirror. If you are in shorts, sit Indian style. If you are in a skirt sit in a chair with your legs crossed. Now, what do you see in the mirror? If you see underwear or lots of thigh your skirt or shorts are too short.

Please keep in mind that you just need to think about this when you go shopping. I am not telling you to go to the store and test this in front of those full length mirrors in the dressing room. I won’t go through ALL the test but I will give you 1 more.

Test 2. Is my shirt too low?

Lean forward a little bit. Can you see too much of your chest or even (with a shirt I had) when you bend over you could see my stomach the shirt was too loose? ( so watch for shirts that are to baggy or loose as well) If any of that happens your shirt is too low. Layering is a good solution just go buy a camisole and layer it up!

So those are a few things I keep in mind when shopping for clothes and only a few of my guidelines. I hope you enjoyed this post and it was helpful.

 

True Modesty

 Hello everyone! I'm Bethany. You can read a bit more about me on the "About the girls page." I'm so excited about this blog, and having the opportunity to share with you what I've learned from my mother and other strong women of faith around me.

 Today, I'll be blogging a bit about the true meaning of modesty. This is such a wide subject that I could never say everything there is to know about it, and I'm sure some of my fellow bloggers will have their own posts relating to it in the future. But for now, I'm just going to say my little piece.

 In the dictionary, there are several definitions for the word modesty. And they vary in length and meaning.

I like one that says Moderation;decency. 

 Another says Unaffected modesty is the sweetest charm of a female excellence. the richest gem in the diadem of their honor.

 To be modest means, mostly, to be humble. It isn't just about how you dress, but also your attitude. Dress is very important, but your attitude is of far greater importance. If you have the right attitude about modesty, and are humbled to God, then the way you dress will eventually line up to his word.

 True modesty in a girl is a wonderful quality.

 The word humble also has several meanings. And in one of the definitions you can find this little gem: to make meek and submissive to a divine will. This is the true meaning of humbleness. It is when you submit yourself before God to do His will. Sometimes this is a very hard thing to do, but when we submit ourselves to the creator, we'll find it much better then when we were focusing on self.

 I've discovered that the reason most people dress without modesty is to draw attention to themselves. This is the opposite of being humble. In modesty, we are not trying to attract attention, because all attention should be given to the One who deserves it: God.

 As Christians, we need to examine ourselves daily to be certain our attitudes are pleasing unto God, because when our spiritual condition is in the right spot, everything else will fall into place.

 God bless you today. I hope this post has been a blessing and encouragement! Remember to let your light shine daily for Jesus!