I
hate planes.
It's
not that I hate the flying part, or that I'm scared of being high
above the ground. I actually rather enjoy that part.
 |
| Originally published at Keturah's Korner |
But
I hate all the security, and how rude everyone can be. And one time
in particular I had a bad experience because they didn't like my
skirt or my ID.
Of
course this wasn't exactly the worst thing in the world. Many people
have had many much more terrible experiences, to the point that they
were truly violated or their lives in danger.
And
one person made sure to tell me this when I told them why I didn't
like flying.
Ouch.
That's
all I can think when someone says your fears or struggles are
unbiased because of others' real struggles.
You
scrunch up and feel guilty. It's like someone is saying, “You don't
know what real pain and fear is, because you have been too sheltered.
You don't even know how to truly love God, because you have never
really been tested.”
Or
maybe they outright say this.
You're
like, “So all this stuff going on in my mind has been dramatized? I
don't actually have struggles?”
In
that case you can be like, “Well, let's just smile then. And
enjoy life.”
Just
kidding...
And
if that were the extent of your trial it may be easy. But normally
it's not.
I
was talking to a friend recently who is going through a very hard
time, emotionally and with close people in her life. Sometimes I get
so riled up for her (and others) when I think great people are so
blindly “persecuting” someone as dear as her with their words and
actions. And it's as if they are blind.. yet think their eyes are
wide open!
“I
know the feeling,” I told her. “ 'God why me? Why now? Why can I
not have just this one thing?' His tests are pretty hard sometimes.
Too hard, to bear, it feels. We are told we have it easy compared to
others. But do we? Or is this just man's way of saying 'I don't care
about you.'?
“ 'What
you are going through is just a lie from the devil.' We are told. But
is it? Sure God heals, but one of the realities of sin is that life
is horrible. Even great men in the Bible screamed and yelled at God,
questioning the pain in their lives.
“Rough
times exist.
“No
matter the level humans set trials at, our trials, our emotional
stress, our struggles, all we go through is the same. It's all
hardest for each individual.
“It's
wrong for people to say, 'Look how good you have it compared to so
and so.' You know what? That's all compared to human standards!
People don't need a, 'You're okay, just look at Africa.' They need a
hug, some comfort, a few words of encouragement.”
“If
any thing is a lie from the devil, it's the belief that what we go
through doesn't matter.”
It's
all great and good to think nothing but certain catastrophes matter
and are worthy of depression, but the words, “Get over yourself.
Remember the kids in Africa – the ones that are dying because of
lack of clothes and food. You have it good. No one in America truly
suffers.” are not a way to comfort someone.
Neither
is the statement, “What you're going through is a lie from the
devil.”
What
does that accomplish? Nothing but unnecessary guilt on the victims
part. And pent up emotions and trials that they don't know what to do
with since they obliviously shouldn't have them.
My
above first example wasn't very good But I think you got the point.
Hopefully. Haha.
We
all go through things – and sometimes those things aren't as big
and ugly in appearance as starving children in Africa.
But
to our minds, to the reality we know, they FEEL just as big and ugly.
To
us they ARE JUST AS BAD AS STARVING TO DEATH.
Because
this is the very REAL and UGLY struggle God has placed into our lives
and minds.
And
because of that, we need to remember one thing: Don't tear other
people down farther by telling them what they go through is unreal.
Comfort
them. Encourage them. Help them get over what they are going through
with love, understanding, and when and if the times calls for, gentle
admonition towards something better and more fulfilling.
Critical
words don't kill fear and heal hurt. Love and kindness do.
Remember,
fellow believers. We aren't called to bring ones trials down to exalt
our own or others. We are called to love each and everyone. Not
everyone is capable of handling the same pain. But we can still love
them. Nor are we to judge trials by man's standard.
Sure,
starvation seems horrid. It is horrible. But so are all the other
things we are burdened with. Each are equally important to the person
going through it.
One
of the realities of this sin-filled life is there will be many people
going through hard times, and you will be faced with the choice: Tear
them down or love them?
So,
be a friend to people. Comfort and dry others' tears, don't cause them. Love people,
don't look down at them. And instead of pushing them away, give them
a big a hug or two.
