Saturday, March 25, 2017

The Etiquette of Arguing

One of my great weaknesses is arguing. 

Sometimes I can hold my tongue. But a lot of the time... It's just that when people say such "stupid, false" things or when people or ideas are "unfairly mistreated" I MUST stand up for them. 

 And sometimes I just look for something to argue/discuss about. :D It's just so fun. :)

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So, yeah. It has gotten me in trouble, but I've learned for the most part that I feel better if I speak my mind and what I believe is the truth and I can even have fun if I do it right :D 

 I have done a lot of arguing with friends ;) 

 And normally it's more of a sport than a fight. Like anything, stuff CAN get nasty. Thinking about it recently, I realized that when I do argue, my friends and I follow certain unspoken rules. 

 I'm calling these the "Etiquette Rules of Arguing." 

  1. It's ok to argue :D Get excited, get into it! 

 2. Speak your mind. 

 3. Never use insults in the place of logic. Never call names. 

 4. Listen to what the other has to say. 

 5. Be prepared to stand up for what you believe in and be ready to defend it. 

 6. Be ready to give in if you are wrong. 

 7. Dignity is ok, but don't be stuck-up or prideful. 

 8. Compliment the other person if they say something clever. 

 9. Laugh, but don't do it in a condescending way. Sarcasm is ok as long as you aren't making fun of the person. 

 10. Remember, you are arguing ideas, not each other. Don't take offense and don't offend. 

 11. Follow the Golden rule :) What comes around DOES go around when arguing. 

One thing that does not help when arguing is pride. Everyone has it to a degree, but sometimes I think no-one has as much of it as my family does. I mean with a last name like Lamb, who wouldn't? ;) 

 It's like we (my extended family, mostly) think we are the chosen people, God's lambs, so we are right in everything. 

 But something my brother said the other day was really good. "As Lambs we aren't suppose to be the Shepherd, but followers of Yahweh." 

 Matthew 23:8 "But be not ye called Rabbi: for one is your Master, even Christ; and all ye are brethren." 

 Arguing can become a very tricky art. If you aren't careful you will make enemies. It is always important that you give in sometimes and make the other person feel good. 

 Let go of your pride if it's standing in the way - of course we should have just enough guts to hold on to what is TRULY right, but never allow ourselves to become self-righteous by it. 

 Arguing IS NOT about putting yourself above others. It's about getting to know others in a fun way :).

Since I first published this I have discovered that I feel less and less the desire to have a good "argument." And that I more like to debate than argue. And that most people aren't worth arguing with... it's just a waste of breath most of them time. And that most people offend easily (something we really shouldn't strive to do).

But occasionally I do still like to have a good debate.

And I still like to follow by these rules. 

Do you enjoy battles of the wit? If so, do you have anything to share on how you go about debating/ arguing with civility? 

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