Saturday, July 1, 2017

More Than Modest: Respect


I suppose I should apologize for my absence – or did any one notice? ;)

I haven't been able to do fashion. I'm sorta reevaluating EVERYTHING in life right now...the way I dress being one ;)

Needless to say, I tried to do a few fashion posts...but couldn't...stuck in a way.

I do think I am ready to share some of my thoughts though – they are still in turmoil inside...but a few may be coherent. Hopefully.

This is loosely related to my post More Than Modest.

I have come to a huge realization: most of the world is selfish. Past the way we act and speak, on to the way we dress. To each individual life and the world revolves 100% around “me” and the way they do things.

And I am no exception to this.

(Do you ever like to watch people and think, 'to them I am the stranger. To them something drastic is happening. Their life is all that matters – my problems would be petty to them.' It's a humbling thought.)

I am going to try and keep this post clothing focused...but as in many areas, my thoughts are directly and indirectly weaved around so many others. Life never unravels in one place – but the whole garment of existence has a way of catching flame suddenly all at once. Not only is it hard to put out the fire – but the damage isn't just a little bit of mending.

More like a complete remake – but there are still pieces worth salvaging??? and how we wear them.

Man, this isn't just some light issue...even amidst deeper, harder things. It still matters.

I've always believed that the way a girl dresses should express her femininity with humbleness, appropriateness, and respectfulness. I've always believed and still believe that those are the key elements of what make up modesty.

But...what do those qualities really mean? What do they look like? So many many have good points...some are just plain wrong - or are they?

What is perspective, what is truth?

And what is simply hypocrisy?

I look at so many women that dress like me (and way more conservative). Even though I understand their background I also can see deeper, past those clothes.

It seems so much of conservative modesty is really just a mask to hide a vulgar, feministic, selfish woman. No joy (or smiling). No beauty.

Shouldn't women be beautiful – aren't we after all the epitome of beauty, of God's creation?

And then I've seen that so much of conservative dress is completely a man-made belief – and we judge each other on our own self-made rules!

Where in the Bible does it say a dress must be full and ankle length? Or that we must dress against the modern culture?

Where in the Bible does it say, “Seek weirdness, flee fashion”?
It doesn't.

I still hold to my core beliefs in how to dress...but I am unsure how those ideas must be expressed through my clothing in ways that both honor God and man. In ways that show respect yet I can still express my personality.

I'm not saying modesty is bad...but it most certainly is being abused.

Dress appropriately, yes – but we don't need to hide the fact we are women and have a shape.

Women are not offensive.

We are beautiful.

Conservatism modesty (hide under layers and layers of polyester – sweat out your faith) doesn't help women be true women.

And neither does the porn industry or Holly Wood (starve yourself to get your bones to pop, then give away your skin for free in clothing that is very worthy of being labeled poverty rags. Show all men what you have – and hide next to nothing) inspire feeling in women of being something more than an object for men.

These two extremes scream at all of us young girls.

How are we supposed to know what to do? Feel good about ourselves?

Balance is a foreign concept – we only know the two wrongs.

Be holy and “save” our entirety for a potential husband (who may not notice us because he's enthralled in the cheap alternative that is too accessible).

In frustrations so many of us throw away the embrace almost nothing. Trying to say, “I am just as beautiful...”

Of course there is still the chance he will only see what you are showing instead of who you are...and even then what you have may not be enough...

Starvation...fashionable doesn't work.


But why not???

The problem is way bigger than the way we dress, first off…but that is another matter entirely.

Dressing to please anyone but God will lead you only to darkness – there will always be someone to find fault.

We must recognize the hypocrisy. But we don't run away from it toward sin.

We embrace the truth of what was said – and “fix it up” instead of covering the truth in lies.

We are women, and must dress accordingly despite what the two extremes tell us.

I am wanting to learn how to respect God and man and myself by not becoming an object – whether an object that hides behind layers or an object that exposes her skin for men to lust after. Who is with me???

I'm still not sure what this looks like. I'm still not sure on a lot of things.

But it is starting to fit together...slowly.

I do not need to be ashamed or hide my body. And I do not need to prove this by embracing the opposite end of the stick – I can still be me, be free in the fact that I am me with out being ashamed of not conforming to one or the other.

True femininity starts with those modesty qualities being instilled in our hearts through Jesus (Yeshua). And once it is we should be able to better express that true modesty in the way we dress.

Many will still judge and hate.

But modesty (fashion) isn't about receiving approval. It's about so much more – such as what is right.

This is an old picture - but I love it because it was a time from my life when I was happy for no reason. When I had every right to be depressed - I was content. The feelings in this picture - this should be our fashion statement. 

Tell me, girls – what does your journey toward respectful dress look like?

We are all in this together, after all. Every movie, every magazine, every garment that is made – it honors or offends each of us personally. And affects all of us together.


  1. This is very good and thought provoking. I appreciate your desire to find truth. In all of life, I think there are two ditches. It seems very hard to find and know exactly where the road is. You are right, no matter how we choose to dress, someone will be offended. We can't live for man's approval... but need to only seek God's. 😊

  2. Do you think that a Christian wife dressing to please her husband, lines up with dressing to please God?

    1. I do, especially if her husband is godly. But I do not think single girls should dress to please men until they are prepared to commit to a certain man as men's tastes are so varied and doing so would only cause confusion in the girls' life and could even lead her astray as she is more focused on pleasing man with her dress than dressing appropriately.

  3. This was a great post, Keturah. We are women and we have a certain shape and form that God created us with. We don't need to hide it or feel ashamed of it. Neither should we 'flaunt' it in an ungodly, carnal way. What you wear is between you and God. There is no Biblical standard that says what length you should wear, etc., but if we are walking in the Holy Spirit we will be convicted when something is inappropriate. Girls shouldn't feel like they have to be ashamed of their bodies and God gave us creativity to make clothing that is fashionable and fun to wear! In the end it is about the intentions of our hearts.