Okay, so I'm guessing some of you might be a little worried about the title today. Did it get you wondering about the content to follow? I mean, it sounds pretty negative, doesn't it?
Yeah, it does. And I usually don't like to use conclusively derogatory sounding titles. But for the last several weeks, the idea for this post has been lingering in the back of my head. And so I finally decided to stop being lazy and actually write it. And what can I say, this particular title seemed to fit best.
Let's face it.
I'm sure most of us have heard the whole deal about "waiting for your true love". And I'm sure most everyone reading this blog agrees with the Biblically-founded moral system which makes it clear that people should remain pure until marriage, and that marriage is meant to last until death.
Marriage is a sacred union; a covenant between the husband, wife, and God. Throughout Scripture, we find where terrible things happened to those who misuse or abandon it. I personally think that sin pertaining to this area is worse than sin such as stealing, lying, etc. Even though those are still forms of wickedness, their consequences/affects on other people can be lesser than that of sexual sin.
For example: Stealing a car vs. committing adultery. They're both wrong, of course, but the latter will hurt more lives, long term.
All sin is evil and to be avoided. However, some do come with heavier prices.
That doesn't really have a whole lot with what I aimed to write about today, but I just wanted to remind you all of the seriousness of the matter. Marriage is nothing to be taken lightly. Not that I know anything really about it; since I'm still single. But just look through God's Book.
He gave us a beautiful gift to enjoy a special sort of love. And that special sort of love was only meant for one other person here on earth - one's spouse. In this case, your future husband, ladies.
So then how should one handle the matter before marriage or courtship?
At age 13, I wrote a poem called "I'm Just Waiting."
I'm sorry, but yes,
I'm already claimed.
Already got myself somebody special,
Right now I'm just waiting.
I'll find my somebody special.
My knight in shining armor.
Right now I'm just waiting.
I'm set aside,
I'm set apart.
Right now I'm just waiting.
For him, I'm saving my heart.
I'm praying that the Lord
will bless my somebody special,
Protect him and guide him,
until (and after) the day we meet.
Skimming over this, yeah, I still hold to this promise of abstinence and emotional purity until marriage. I'm still saving my first kiss for THE guy. I've learned to really take emotional purity serious ever since I experienced some hard lessons as a younger teen, concerning giving your heart to somebody prematurely. (Crushes, lust, etc.) And honestly, it all starts with the heart. If you let your heart stray, you're already going down a slippery slope and sin is a the door.
It all starts with the heart.
"Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life." Proverbs 4:23
But is it more than just waiting?
I've always thought it was a matter of "keeping your eyes open" and waiting, watching. Yes, keeping productive, not just sitting around during your single years 'waiting for life to happen.'
Nonetheless. There seems to be something more to it than just this.
It seems that, with the 'waiting' mentality, life seems to become a bit full of doubt and fear that perhaps this, perhaps that...what ifs...
What if...you're not supposed to get married? What if....maybe you never find that special dude?
What if this, what if that.
It's easy to get a little desperate even. I'll admit, I've allowed myself to get wrapped up in concern over it at times.
You meet a guy that seems halfway decent and the first thing that crosses your mind?
"Hm, could he be the one? Maybe I should talk to him...?"
It's not wrong to wonder this, and I think it's a completely natural instinct. The key is, how much time you spend thinking on this sort of thing. It's so easy for this notion to become a self-centered one. Or, simply fear-based.
God's Word is very clear on fear, and states simply: don't succumb to it.
And, another thing. If you're like me, you're still young. I'll be 18 in January. Yes, women have been getting married at that age and earlier for centuries, but that doesn't mean it's the 'must' for each individual person. Unless I see a direct sign or direction from God on the contrary, I still think I'm a bit green for marriage yet.
However, I don't think one is ever truly 'ready' for marriage, as in, completely 'wisened-up' and prepared.
We can prepare and store up wisdom to an extent, but we're always learning more. (hopefully, if you have the right mindset and a heart for learning) However, wisdom dictates that a couple shouldn't marry until they have matured to a certain degree, and possess a certain degree of responsibility. And in this society, maturity is coming later and later, if at all.
Gosh, I'm rambling today aren't I?
Okay. *takes a deep breath, tries to get back on topic*
I guess what I'm trying to get at is, if you're worried about finding your special someone, stop it.
If God wills it for you, it will happen. End of story.
Waiting is a word of stagnancy.
While, in the sense of purity it's almost always implied to be good, it can easily turn into a means to create uninvolved, fear-ridden young women who are a bit on the desperate side to find their Superman.
Personally, I don't feel this is where I want to be.
I don't want to be the antsy young woman who acts like a feeding-frenzied shark whenever a young man enters her sight. I don't want to be consumed with fear of the unknown, constantly wondering 'what if'.
There's a reason for everything, and I know this is all in God's plan. Truth is, what's so bad about being single, anyway? During these adventure-filled years of my life, I have been given so many opportunities. Chances to point people to God through a wide variety of skills, abilities, and connections, and of course, the time to do it all.
In short, I am loving this season of my life. God is exceedingly good to me.
If He has it in His will for me to get married, wonderful! If not, wonderful! Instead of dwelling in the 'waiting and worrying' mentality, I strive to use my time wisely and productively. Learning new things every day, strengthening relationships with the people in my life, and drawing closer to my Maker.
I'm no longer "on the lookout" for a mate. Let's be honest, that involves way too much stress and energy! Which I'd rather spend on something a bit more productive.
No, I've learned that when I try to take things into my own hands, the end result is always inferior, messy, and quite often a flunked attempt. I'm pretty sure this could apply to every aspect of my life, including the 'romance' side.
So in conclusion?
I'm leaving my love story in God's hands...not mine.
P.S. I'm sorry this sort of evolved into a sporadic sort of rambling rant, but hopefully you gleaned something from it? *uneasy smile*