Monday, March 11, 2013

On Courting

 Hello all. Today I'm going to talk a little bit on courtship. Not everyone shares the same views as me, and I'm not going to be all judgmental about it if you don't. This is another one of those personal conviction things. But I thought I would share a little bit about this with you guys.

 I'm the girl who gets all the weird looks when this situation happens. People ask me if I have a boyfriend, and I answer with a "No." They ask why not, and I answer that I'm waiting for the guy that God meant for me to come along, and when I do get in a relationship it will be with the intention of marriage. Let the weird looks begin. ;)

There are many different opinions on what courtship is. Some say it's basically dating. But this article is about what I believe courtship is.

 My parents dated each other, kissed, etc. before they got married. Now, almost 25 years later, they wished they hadn't. They realized that if they had waited for some of those things, it would have been much sweeter.

 So, when my sister, Charity was old enough to talk about that sort of thing, my parents sat down with her. They asked her if she'd be willing to wait, and she agreed. My sister's story is really wonderful- hopefully she won't mind me sharing with all of you. ;)

 We're very good friends with another family that also believes in courtship. Charity, and the oldest son in that family were best friends since they were about fourteen going on fifteen, and fifteen going on sixteen. God told both of them at one point or another, that they would marry each other. My sister didn't want to believe it- she thought of him as her younger friend- but he took it a bit more seriously. When he was almost nineteen, his parents finally decided he was ready to ask about courting my sister. By this time, Charity had realized that she really did like him, but she didn't want to let anything get in the way of her relationship with God, and told the Lord she was willing to give up her friendship with him, if that was His will.

 One night, my parents got a telephone call from him. He asked if he could court my sister. My parents talked to Charity, who said yes when she realized it was actually God's will to become even greater friends with Beau. They had a courtship that lasted almost a year. Then he blindfolded her, walked her up a mountain, and showed her a giant glowing cross before kneeling, and asking her to marry him. She said yes. :) They've been married for going on two years this month, have a beautiful little daughter, and a son on the way.

 My parents never really had that talk with me, but I've made the decision based on many things. Their wisdom, my sister's experience, books I've read. (Preparing to be a Helpmeet) The decision isn't being forced on me, but I feel like it's the right thing for me to do.

 Here are some things my family does in courtship.

 Courtship is to get to know someone with the intention of marriage. My sister and bro-in-law talked on the phone a lot, and got to know each other more then they did as just friends.

 My sister and bro-in-law didn't kiss, and neither will I. O.O But how will you know if you have 'sparks?!?!' Don't worry. I plan on praying about it just like my sister did. The Lord will let you know if someone is the right one.

They didn't hold hands either. WHAT???? This isn't a courtship principle that everyone follows, but my sister and bro-in-law wanted to keep their relationship pure in the sight of God. They realized that holding hands, (and kissing for that matter) could lead to things that would not please the Lord. Once they were engaged they did hold hands, though.

 We will have a chaperon. Isn't that a little strict? Not really. Having a chaperon helps the two individuals not get caught up in anything that wouldn't glorify Christ. And it's always fun to be the third wheel who gets to do fun stuff. ;)

 So that's a little bit on courtship. There are other reasons I've decided to court, and if you want to know any more about it, just ask in the comments. Once again, courtship is MY choice. If you don't feel that way, do not feel bad.

 I hope you've enjoyed learning a little about courtship. :)

Genesis 2:24  Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

 God bless!


  1. Wow That's a beautiful story! My family is going to do courting and I can't wait to be a 'third wheel' for my brothers!

  2. Wonderful post, Bethany. I can relate to the strange looks deal. Ever since about 13 people have asked if I had a boyfriend and they are always shocked when I reply no. And your sister's story is very encouraging. We need to hear more love stories like that!

  3. Wow. His proposal was so romantic! My family has always known we would court. The idea of dating just scares me.

  4. Chloe: It's a lot of fun!

    Leah: I agree! That's one of the reasons I like Preparing to be a Helpmeet!

    Abri: You really never know what could happen. And I think courtship has wonderful potential.

  5. Yay for courtship! GREAT post!!! Weird looks are awkward times TEN when it's coming from relatives.;)

  6. I get the idea of a chaperon, I know of people who do that, bit it sounds VERY mistrusting of the parent. If the guy is godly, and the gal is godly, than the parent ought to trust their child. Temptation is a real life problem, but if the couple is really seeking God, than they will have the power to overcome the temptation. By the parent sending a chaperon, they are basically saying 'i dont trust you two' in which they shouldnt allow the courtship in the first place. Am I right, or am I missing something?